Showing posts with label funny jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny jokes. Show all posts

simple explanation.....

Posted on 05:10 by Unknown
The mother-in-law arrives home from the mall to find her son-in-law boiling angry and hurriedly packing his suitcase.

"What happened ?" she asks anxiously.

"What happened!
I'll tell you what happened. I sent an email to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my business trip. I get home, and guess what I found?

Yes, your daughter, my wife, with a guy in our marital bed! This is unforgivable, the end of our marriage. I'm done. I'm leaving forever !"

"Calm down, calm down!" says his mother-in-law.

"There is something very odd going on here. My daughter would never do such a thing! There must
be a simple explanation. I'll go speak to her immediately and find out
what happened."

Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile.

"I told you there must be a simple explanation..... she didn't receive your E-mail !"
Posted in , , , , , , , | No comments

A Romantic Wife

Posted on 05:06 by Unknown
A middle-aged couple had finally learned how to send and receive texts on their cell phones.

The wife, being a romantic at heart, decided one day that she'd send her husband a text while she was out of the house having coffee with a friend...

She texted:

If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.

If you are laughing, send me your smile.

If you are eating, send me a bite.

If you are drinking, send me a sip.

If you are crying, send me your tears.

I love you.

The husband, being a no-nonsense sort of guy,

texted back:

I'm on the toilet. Please advise what should i send you.
Posted in , , , , , , , , , , , | No comments

WhatsApp Fever!

Posted on 05:58 by Unknown
Boy: Hello Babe.... (11:45pm)

Girl: (last seen at 11:46pm)

Boy: Hey please answer me :) ( 11:50pm)

Girl: (last seen at 11:52pm)

Boy: But why do you treat me like that? Why don't you answer me? (12:00am)

Girl: (last seen at 12:00am)

Boy: Ok good night dear, I just wanted to tell you that today I have received my salary worth Rs.50,000 and I have reserved 20k for your shopping... but I think...

Girl (typing): Ohh! Hi dear... Actually mum was there that's why I couldn't reply... N wow darling that's a great news... I love you a lot... N when shall we go ?(12:05am)

Boy: (last seen 12:06am)

Girl: Baby please answer me na... dear I was off last time, let me know na when shall we go?(12:08am)

Boy: (last seen 12:09am)

Girl: I think your luking very tired because off work load... So now you go to bed and sleep well honey, take care. (12:10am)

Boy: (last seen 12:12am)

Girl: Sorry to disturb you but I think I forgot to tell you that tomorrow mom and dad are not at home in the evening, so you can come to my place after the shopping. Love you janu. Good Night. (12:20am)

Boy (typing): Ohh I was preparing for sleep, surely we will meet... c ya tomorrow... mmuuahhh..........!!!
Posted in , , , , , , , , , , | No comments

Wah ! mera beta to bahot brilliant hai

Posted on 05:55 by Unknown
Pappu:- 6,7.

Dad:- wah mera beta to bahot brilliant hai

Or 6,7 k baad..??

Pappu:- 8,9,10..

Dad:- kya baat hai beta

or

uske baad.........?.?

Pappu:.....Gulam, begum, badshah.
Posted in , , , | 1 comment

Upset Girlfriend

Posted on 05:31 by Unknown
Posted in , , , | 1 comment

Exams Life...

Posted on 05:53 by Unknown
Exams Life... .. 9am:"Wake-up .. 10am:"Breakfast .. 11am:"Thinking 2 score 80% .. 12am:"Watch TV .. 1pm:"Lunch .. 2pm:"Thodi neend le ke padhenge dimagh set hoga .. .. 4pm:"Games .. 5pm:"Thinking 2 score 60% .. 6pm:"Troubling friends "kuch padha ?? .. 8pm:"Searching books. .. 9pm:"Dinner .. 10pm:"Lo bhai light gayi.. .. 11pm:"plz bhagwan! Bas pass kara de... .. 12pm:"Aaj to "Bhad Me Jaye Padhai" kal se pakka padhunga... :D:D
Posted in , , , , , , | No comments

Ek darawni kahani hai...

Posted on 05:51 by Unknown
Ye 1 darawni kahani hai, kamjor dil wale ise na pade..!! Barsat ki 1 raat me 1 budha aadmi hath me 1kitab bechne ke liye khda tha, 1 aadmi aaya aur usne vo kitab 3000/- mein kharid li Budhe aadmi ne kitab de ke kaha: Jab tk koi musibat na aye kitab ka LAST PAGE mat dekna. Aadmi ne kitab puri pad li lekin dar ke karan last page nahi khola. 1 din usse raha nahi gaya aur last page khol ke dekh hi liya aur sadme se mar gya.. last page par likha tha.. . . . MRP-Rs 15/- only!
Posted in , , , , | No comments

Gareebi Kya Hai.. ??

Posted on 03:28 by Unknown
Gareebi Kya Hai.. ?? .. Jab 1 Khubsurat Ladki 2 Rupiye Me Kiss Karne Ko Taiyaar Ho.. . . . . . Aur.. . . . . . Tumhare Paas Sirf 1 Rupiya Ho..
Posted in , , , , , | No comments

Santa is back

Posted on 04:51 by Unknown
Santa train me ek seat par akela leta tha ! ! Ek aadmi aaya aur bola: bhai thoda side me ho jaiye mujhe bhi baithna hai ! ! Santa:- tujhe pata hai mai kaun hu..?? ! ! Aadmi darr k dusri jagah baithgaya ! ! ! Phir ek pahalwan aaya aur bola:- side me ho ja chotu mujhe baithna hai ! ! ! Santa:- abe oye tujhe pata hai mai kaun hu ! ! Pahalwan ne santa ki gardan pakad k utha liya ! ! aur bola:- haan bol tu kaun hai.....?? ! ! ! ! Santa:- ji mai " Bimaar " hu.. 2din se tezz bukhar hai.
Posted in , , , , , , | No comments

Touching words by a Father...

Posted on 03:35 by Unknown
Touching words by a Father....!!!!!
!
Dear son,
!
!
!
!
!
If u think that your Dad, Mom, and ur Teacher are strict and harassing you........


Wait for a wife.... then u will love them all !!! 
Posted in , , , , , , , | No comments

During an English lesson.....

Posted on 03:34 by Unknown
During an English lesson, the teacher notices that a boy was not paying attention to her.

Teacher:
!
!
Pappu, join these two sentences together...

I was cycling to school. I saw a dead body.
!
!
!
!
!
!
Pappu: (thinking for a while) I saw a dead body cycling to school.
Posted in , , , , , , , , | No comments

Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan ?

Posted on 04:38 by Unknown
Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan ?

Operator: Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to me. Who is this?

Caller: I’m Sam Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It’s urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what’s this urgent matter about?

Caller: Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.

Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn’t an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don’t have time for this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I’m Saw Ree.

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!

Operator: That’s what I said. I’m Saw Ree

Caller: Oh God!!
Posted in , , , , , , | No comments

Hello, Pammi Darling... kaisi ho

Posted on 04:35 by Unknown
Boy : Hello, Pammi Darling... kaisi ho ?

Girl : Who's this ?

Boy : Tera aashiq hun; jaaneman !!

Girl : Tu Bunty hai na...

Boy : Yes; but how do you know ?

Girl : Tu Bansilal ka beta hai na......

Boy : Yes but how you know me ??

Girl : Tu Ramlal ka pota hai na.....

Boy : Yes !! but jaanu, tumhe ye sab kaise pata....?

Girl : Bunty Haramkhor; kutte, mai teri Maa hun !!..
Tune 'Pummi' ko nahi,'Mummi' ko phone lagaya hai!!! :P
Posted in , , , , , , , , , | No comments

zyada lecture dene se bezti bhi ho jati hai ...

Posted on 04:33 by Unknown
Story: once a boy was smoking atairport.

Girl asked:1 din me kitne cigrete peete ho.?

Boy:why.?

Girl: Agar ab tak zindagi mein cirgrete pe kharch kiye huye paise bachate to samne khari hui car tmhari hoti...

Boy: Ap cigrate peeti hai..?

Girl: No.

Boy: To kya wo car apki hai..?

Girl: No.

Boy: Thanks for advice,Wo car meri he hai...

MORAL: zyada lecture dene se bezti bhi ho jati hai ..

Posted in , , , , , , , | No comments

Ek Haseen Ladki Raja ke Darbar mein

Posted on 04:32 by Unknown
Ek Haseen Ladki Raja ke Darbar mein dance kar rahi thi..
.
(Raja bahut Bad-Surat tha)
.
Ladki ne Raja se Ek Sawal ki Ijajat maangi...
.
Raja ne Kaha,'Puccho.'
.
Ladki ne kaha,'Jab Khuda Husn Taqsim kar raha tha,
Tab Aap kahan the..??
.
Raja ne ghussa na kiya, balki Muskurate huey Kaha,'

Jab TUM Husn ki line me khadi husn le rahi thi,
.
Toh main Kismat ki Line me khada Kismat le raha tha....
.
Aur Aaj Tujh Jaisi Husn Waliya'n meri gulam ki tarah Nach Rahi hai..
.
Isi Liye Shayar Khoob Kehta hai,
.
"Husn na maang Naseeb maang Ae Dost, Husn Waale to Aksar Naseeb Walo ke Gulam hua Karte hai
Posted in , , , , | No comments

Apki Beti k Nakhre Khtm Ho Tab Na

Posted on 04:29 by Unknown
Principle: Late Q Hue

santa: Bike Khrab Ho Gai Thi

Principle: Bus Me Nahi Aa Skty The

Santa: Maine Kaha Th SIR Par Apki Beti k Nakhre Khtm Ho Tab Na
Posted in , , , , , | No comments

Ek baar Santa Gangubai k ghar jata hai

Posted on 04:27 by Unknown
Ek baar Santa Gangubai k ghar jata hai aur darwaza knock karta hai.

Gangubai: Kaun ?

Santa: Mai !

Gangubai: Main kaun?

Santa: are pagali Tu Gangubai 
Posted in , , , | No comments

Hindi Teacher and student

Posted on 04:25 by Unknown
Hindi Teacher:" Prasang Sahit nimnlikhit Pankti ka varnan Kijiye:

"Munni badnaam hui, Darling tere liye.."
.
.
Student:" Ye Pankti bollywood ke prasidh Kavi Shri Salman Khan ke chal chitra ''Dabang'' ke "Munni Badnaam" namak kavita se li gyi hai..

Is kavita mein Kavi mayavi Sundri Malaika arora ko sambodhit karte huye pyar mein badnaam hone ki prerna dete hai..
.
Kavi ne is kavita ke madhyam se munni ki tulna jhandu baam aur atom bomb se ki hai..

is kavita se hume kavi ki gehri soch aur tulnatmak smriti ka ehsaas hota hai..:) :D
Posted in , , , , | No comments

2 rupaye lene they.....

Posted on 04:24 by Unknown
Girlfriend :”Last night I had a dream of you.”
.
.
Boyfriend (got excited):”Maine kya kiya tumhare sapne mein aa ke”
.
.
Girlfriend replied :”We were traveling in bus, Suddenly the bus lost control and fell in the river.
.
.
Everyone swam to save their life, but you were still swimming and searching for someone.”
.
.
Boyfriend (with luv):”I was searching for you, na?
.
.
Girlfriend said: NO, You were shouting,
.
.
“Arrey, conductor kidhar gaya, 2 rupaye lene the”
Posted in , , , | No comments

Ek Baar Ki Baat Hai...

Posted on 04:16 by Unknown
Ek Baar Ki Baat Hai, Pappu Apni Girlfriend Ko
Ek Restaurant Main Lekar Gaya..
Uske Paas Paise Nahi The,
Wo ApniJeb Main Ek Coackroach Le kar Gaya,
Aur Saara Khana Khane Ke Baad,
Usne Soup Mangaya Aur Usme Cockroach Daal Diya,
Aur Jor jor Se Chillane Laga,”Ye Kya Laga Rakha Hai,
Customer Ko Zeher Khilate Ho
”Manager Ne Request Ki, Please Shor Mat Machaiye Aur Saara Bil Maaf Ho Gaya..

Agle Din Usne Ye Story Apne Ek Friend Ko Sunayi,
Aur Uska Friend Bhi Uski Girlfriend Ko Lekar Usi Restaurant Main Gaya,
Aur Jab Usne poora Khana khane Ke Baad Soup Order Kiya,

To Reply Mila Ki Soup Khatam Ho Gaya hai...:p :O :D :D
Posted in , , , , , , , , , | No comments
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)