A Romantic Wife

A middle-aged couple had finally learned how to send and receive texts on their cell phones.

The wife, being a romantic at heart, decided one day that she'd send her husband a text while she was out of the house having coffee with a friend...

She texted:

If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.

If you are laughing, send me your smile.

If you are eating, send me a bite.

If you are drinking, send me a sip.

If you are crying, send me your tears.

I love you.

The husband, being a no-nonsense sort of guy,

texted back:

I'm on the toilet. Please advise what should i send you.

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WhatsApp Fever!

Boy: Hello Babe.... (11:45pm)

Girl: (last seen at 11:46pm)

Boy: Hey please answer me :) ( 11:50pm)

Girl: (last seen at 11:52pm)

Boy: But why do you treat me like that? Why don't you answer me? (12:00am)

Girl: (last seen at 12:00am)

Boy: Ok good night dear, I just wanted to tell you that today I have received my salary worth Rs.50,000 and I have reserved 20k for your shopping... but I think...

Girl (typing): Ohh! Hi dear... Actually mum was there that's why I couldn't reply... N wow darling that's a great news... I love you a lot... N when shall we go ?(12:05am)

Boy: (last seen 12:06am)

Girl: Baby please answer me na... dear I was off last time, let me know na when shall we go?(12:08am)

Boy: (last seen 12:09am)

Girl: I think your luking very tired because off work load... So now you go to bed and sleep well honey, take care. (12:10am)

Boy: (last seen 12:12am)

Girl: Sorry to disturb you but I think I forgot to tell you that tomorrow mom and dad are not at home in the evening, so you can come to my place after the shopping. Love you janu. Good Night. (12:20am)

Boy (typing): Ohh I was preparing for sleep, surely we will meet... c ya tomorrow... mmuuahhh..........!!!

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Upset Girlfriend

  A guy got stuck on a Rs. 1 crore question.

He uses phone-a-friend helpline, and chooses his girlfriend to ask the answer.

 Amitabh Bachchan:

Girlfriend ji, Namashkaar, mein Amitabh Bachchan bol raha hun KBC se. Abhi aapke mitra aap se ek prashan puchenge aur aap ko
sirf 30 seconds mein us prashan ka uttar dene hai. Aapka samay shuru
hota hai ab...

Boy reads out the question and the 4 options...

Girl:

 Mil gaya time tumhe phone karne ka ? Mujhe tumse koi baat nahi karni !!!

 Byeeeee....

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Santa was watching peter and tom and he die...

Peter : I want my money now !

Tom : I will kill myself so that I won't pay you..

"he pulled a gun & shot himself & dead"

Peter : hahaha..... If u think u'll get away with my money ur wrong,
I'll follow you until you pay me..

Peter takes the gun n shot him self dead as well..

Santa was watching from a distance he laughed & said : these guys are funny, I want to watch this till the end....

he also took the gun and killed himself !

TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS AT THE END...

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18+ Only

18+ Only BOY : I want us to be in a relationship. GIRL : Its okay but under one condition. BOY : Which one ? GIRL : No sex, bcoz am preserving it for my future husband. BOY : Thats okay, I also have my condition. GIRL : Which one ? BOY : No using of my money coz am preserving it for my future wife!!! GIRL : Lo tum toh serious ho gaye.. Arre I was kidding jaanu Boy: Can i Kiss u? Girl: Condom laye ho? Boy: kiss k liye condom? Girl : sharif to aise ban rahe ho jaise kissing k bad jo Khada hoga uspe 2014 ka Calender tangoge!!

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18+ only

18+ Only

BOY : I want us to be in a relationship.

GIRL : Its okay but under one condition.

BOY : Which one ?

GIRL : No sex, bcoz am preserving it for my future husband.

BOY : Thats okay, I also have my condition.

GIRL : Which one ?

BOY : No using of my money coz am preserving it for my future wife!!!

GIRL : Lo tum toh serious ho gaye.. Arre I was kidding jaanu

Boy: Can i Kiss u?

Girl: Condom laye ho?

Boy: kiss k liye condom?

Girl : sharif to aise ban rahe ho
jaise kissing k bad jo Khada hoga uspe 2014 ka Calender tangoge!!

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Birthday gift

GiRL : WHERE is my BiRTHDAY
GiFT?
.
Boy : ROAD pe RED COLOUR ki
CAR DEKH rahi
ho?
.
GiRL KHUSHi se : WOW.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
Boy : SAME COLOUR ki NAiL-
POLiSH tere Liye
Laya hoon.

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2 rupaye lene they.....

Girlfriend :”Last night I had a dream of you.”
.
.
Boyfriend (got excited):”Maine kya kiya tumhare sapne mein aa ke”
.
.
Girlfriend replied :”We were traveling in bus, Suddenly the bus lost control and fell in the river.
.
.
Everyone swam to save their life, but you were still swimming and searching for someone.”
.
.
Boyfriend (with luv):”I was searching for you, na?
.
.
Girlfriend said: NO, You were shouting,
.
.
“Arrey, conductor kidhar gaya, 2 rupaye lene the”

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PAPPU KE KARNAME!!!!!!!!!

Papu:"Mujhe Dog Food lena hai..
.
.
SALES GIRL:"Kya apke pas Kutta hai.. ??
Papu:"Ha ghar pe hai..
.
SALES GIRL:"Sorry! Store policy hai ke zarurat dekh kar item sale karo..
.
NEXT DAY papu:"Mujhe Cat Food lena hai
.
SALES GIRL:"Sorry Sir pehle Billi la ke dekhao..
.
3 din bad Papu bag le ke store aya aur bola:"Bag me hath dal ke sabot dekh lo..
.
SALES GIRL hath dal ke boli:"Koi Garm, Geeli aur Mulayum cheez hai Kya hai..??
.
Papu:"Ye meri Potty hai, aur mujhe aaj
"TOILET PAPER" lena hai...:p:O :D

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Andha Hai Kya Be...

After Accident:
American:"Its Fine Man.. . . .
British:"I am So Sorry . . .
Australia:"No Worries Dude . . . .
Germany:"Are You Okay... ??
.

.

.

.

.

.
India:"Andha Hai Kya Be...
Akkal Ke Dushman Saale Tere Baap Ki Road Hai Kya Bahar Nikal Dekh Teri Kaise Bajaata Hu...
Paiiiiseeee nikaaal.. 

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