SANTA AUR CHEMIST!!

SANTA AUR CHEMIST!!
!

!

Santa Chemist Ke Pass Gaya

Aur Bola: “Bhai Kuch Help Chahiye”

Chemist: “Haan Bolo?”

Aur Santa Ne Apni Davayi Ki Bottle Mein Se

Ek Chamach Chemist Ko Pila Ke Pucha:“Meetha Hai Kya?”

Chemist: “Nahi To, Kyu Kya Hai Ye”

Santa: “Bas Yahi Puchna Tha,

Doctor Ne Kaha Tha Ki Chemist Ke Paas Jakar Urine Test Karwa Kar Pata Karo Ki Urine Mein Sugar Hai Ke Nahi“

CHEMIST SHOCKED SANTA ROCKED

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SANTA APNI WIFE KI DELIVERY KE TIME

!!SANTA APNI WIFE KI DELIVERY KE TIME!!

Nurse: Aapko Judwa Bacche Huye.

Santa: Hona Hi Tha ji Picture Hi Aise Dekhi Thi.

Dhoom 2
!
Golmaal 2
!
Raaz 2
!
Don 2

saare ke saare 2's

Nurse: Achcha Hua Delhi-6 Nahi Dekhi.....

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Pappu ko ek lawaris bandar mila...

Pappu ko ek lawaris bandar mila...

Wo usko police station le gya..

Inspector ne kaha, isko zoo le ke jao.


Next day inspector ne pappu ko bandar k sath bus stop par dekha,


inspector: isko zoo nahi le kar gaye???


Pappu: kal gaye the, khub ghume, bada maza aya,

!

!
Aaj Qutub Minar ja rahe hai...

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Wah ! mera beta to bahot brilliant hai

Pappu:- 6,7.

Dad:- wah mera beta to bahot brilliant hai

Or 6,7 k baad..??

Pappu:- 8,9,10..

Dad:- kya baat hai beta

or

uske baad.........?.?

Pappu:.....Gulam, begum, badshah.

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Santa was watching peter and tom and he die...

Peter : I want my money now !

Tom : I will kill myself so that I won't pay you..

"he pulled a gun & shot himself & dead"

Peter : hahaha..... If u think u'll get away with my money ur wrong,
I'll follow you until you pay me..

Peter takes the gun n shot him self dead as well..

Santa was watching from a distance he laughed & said : these guys are funny, I want to watch this till the end....

he also took the gun and killed himself !

TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS AT THE END...

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Santa is appearing on (KBC) Kaun Banega Crorepati

Santa is appearing on "Kaun Banega Crorepati (KBC)" with Amitabh Bachchan.

Amitabh: "Santa, you`re up to Rs Fifty lakhs, with one lifeline left: phone a friend.
If you get it right, the next question is worth a crore rupees If you get it wrong,
you drop back to Rs 3,20,000. Are you ready?"

Santa: "Yes."

Amitabh: "Which of the following birds does not build it`s own nest? Is it A) robin, B) sparrow, C) cuckoo, or D) thrush."

Santa: "I`d like to phone a friend. I`d like to call Banta."

Banta answers the phone: "Hello?"

Amitabh: "Hello Banta ji, it`s Amitabh Bachchan from KBC. I have your friend Santa here who needs your help to answer the final question.
The next voice you hear will be Santa`s...''

Santa: "Banta, which of the following birds does not build it`s own nest? Is it
 A) robin, B) sparrow, C) cuckoo, or D) thrush."

Banta: "Oh geez, Santa. That`s simple. It`s a cuckoo."

Santa: "Are you sure?"

Banta: "I`m sure."

Amitabh: "Santa, you heard Banta. Do you keep the fifty lakhs or play for one crore?"

Santa: "I want to play; I`ll go with C) cuckoo".

Amitabh:" Is that your final answer?"

Santa: "Yes."

Amitabh: "Confident?"

Santa: "Yes; I think Banta`s pretty smart."

Amitabh: "You said C) cuckoo... And you`re right! Congratulations, you have just won ONE CRORE!"

To celebrate, Santa flies Banta to Ludhiana. That night they go out on the town.
As they`re sipping champagne, Santa looks at Banta and asks him,
"Tell me, how did you know that it was the cuckoo that does not build its own nest?"

"It was easy," replies Banta.

"Everybody knows that cuckoos live in clocks."

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Santa ki modern wife

Santa ki modern wife ne use office jaate waqt pyaar se kaha. . 'see you in the evening' . . . . . . . . Santa: 'main bhi tujhe dekh lunga kameeni, . . dhamki apne baap ko dena

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Yaar Uth Bhukamp Aa Raha Hai

Banta: " Yaar Uth Bhukamp Aa Raha Hai, Saara Ghar Hil Raha Hai.. . . . . . . . . . . . Santa: " Soja-Soja Ghar Girega To Makaan Maalik Ka, Hum To Kirayedar Hain...

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WHERE is my BiRTHDAY GiFT?

GiRL : WHERE is my BiRTHDAY GiFT? . Boy : ROAD pe RED COLOUR ki CAR DEKH rahi ho? . GiRL KHUSHi se : WOW. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. Boy : SAME COLOUR ki NAiL-POLiSH tere Liye Laya hoon.

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18+ Only

18+ Only BOY : I want us to be in a relationship. GIRL : Its okay but under one condition. BOY : Which one ? GIRL : No sex, bcoz am preserving it for my future husband. BOY : Thats okay, I also have my condition. GIRL : Which one ? BOY : No using of my money coz am preserving it for my future wife!!! GIRL : Lo tum toh serious ho gaye.. Arre I was kidding jaanu Boy: Can i Kiss u? Girl: Condom laye ho? Boy: kiss k liye condom? Girl : sharif to aise ban rahe ho jaise kissing k bad jo Khada hoga uspe 2014 ka Calender tangoge!!

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Ek Din Santa samundar me dahi daal raha tha..

Ek Din Santa samundar me dahi daal raha tha.. Banta: kya kar raha hai? Santa: Lassi bana raha hun. Banta: Yeh kya Pagalpan hai?? Teri aisi harkaton se hi log hum pe joke banate hai.. ab bata..... . . . . . . . . . Itni Saari Lassi kon piyega...??

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Santa is back

Santa train me ek seat par akela leta tha ! ! Ek aadmi aaya aur bola: bhai thoda side me ho jaiye mujhe bhi baithna hai ! ! Santa:- tujhe pata hai mai kaun hu..?? ! ! Aadmi darr k dusri jagah baithgaya ! ! ! Phir ek pahalwan aaya aur bola:- side me ho ja chotu mujhe baithna hai ! ! ! Santa:- abe oye tujhe pata hai mai kaun hu ! ! Pahalwan ne santa ki gardan pakad k utha liya ! ! aur bola:- haan bol tu kaun hai.....?? ! ! ! ! Santa:- ji mai " Bimaar " hu.. 2din se tezz bukhar hai.

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I Love U....

Boy: I Love U .

Girl: But I Love Someone Else, . .

Boy: Okay, No Problem, Ur happiness Is More Important For Me Than Ur Love. . . . . .

MORAL: Jaha Aur Kuch Nahi Kar Sakte Wahan Dialogue To Acche chipka dene chahiye.. !!

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Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan ?

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan ?

Operator: Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to me. Who is this?

Caller: I’m Sam Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It’s urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what’s this urgent matter about?

Caller: Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.

Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn’t an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don’t have time for this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I’m Saw Ree.

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!

Operator: That’s what I said. I’m Saw Ree

Caller: Oh God!!

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"Gold Flake"hi Mangwana...

Doctor:"Kya takleef hai.. ?? .

Pappu:"Seenay me Bohot dard ho Raha hai.. .

Doctor:"Cigrette Peety ho..?? . .

Pappu:"Han Par "Gold Flake"hi Mangwana...

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A man got a call from unknown number..

A man got a call from unknown number..

Girl:"Hi, r u single.. ??

Man:"Yes, but who r u.. ??

Ans:"Your wife.. Aaj ghar aana tab bataoogi..

Another call from unknown number..

Girl:"R u married.. ??

Man:"Yes, but who R u.. ??

Girl:"Your girlfriend, U cheat..

Man:"Sorry baby, I thought it was my wife..

Ans:"Wife hi hoon kutte, aaj tu bas ghar aaja.

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Ek baar Santa Gangubai k ghar jata hai

Ek baar Santa Gangubai k ghar jata hai aur darwaza knock karta hai.

Gangubai: Kaun ?

Santa: Mai !

Gangubai: Main kaun?

Santa: are pagali Tu Gangubai 

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