Boys are always Happy Creatures...

Boys are always Happy Creatures...

WHY?


1. Their last name stays with them forever.

2. Phone conversations last just for 30 secs flat.

3. A five day vacation requires only one jeans.

4. If someone forgets to invite them, he can still be their friend.

5. The same hairstyle lasts for years or even decades.

6. They can do shopping for 25 relatives in 25 minutes.

7. They don't freak out when they go to a party and see another man wearing the same shirt, instead they become buddies...

SANTA AUR CHEMIST!!

SANTA AUR CHEMIST!!
!

!

Santa Chemist Ke Pass Gaya

Aur Bola: “Bhai Kuch Help Chahiye”

Chemist: “Haan Bolo?”

Aur Santa Ne Apni Davayi Ki Bottle Mein Se

Ek Chamach Chemist Ko Pila Ke Pucha:“Meetha Hai Kya?”

Chemist: “Nahi To, Kyu Kya Hai Ye”

Santa: “Bas Yahi Puchna Tha,

Doctor Ne Kaha Tha Ki Chemist Ke Paas Jakar Urine Test Karwa Kar Pata Karo Ki Urine Mein Sugar Hai Ke Nahi“

CHEMIST SHOCKED SANTA ROCKED

2 stupid girls...

!! 2 stupid girls!!

two girlzz were playing chess
.
.
girl 1- Chal yaar bas karte hain, pak rahe hai.
.
girl 2: Haan yaar, waise bhi tera sirf haathi bacha hai aur mera sirf ghoda. .
.
Phir waha ek ladka aata hai. .

Boy: Chalo girlzz, chess khelate hai.

both girlzz: Nahi, tum to hume aasani se hara doge.

Boy: Chalo yaar. Tum dono aur mai akela.

both girl: fir bhi hum haar jayenge

Boy :Okay, mai left hand se khelunga.


both girlzz: Haan. yupee Phir thik hai.

(The joke still doesn't end.)


Dono obviously haar jate hai aur ladka whan se chala jata hai.

girl 1: Badi sharmanaak baat hai, yaar. Left hand se bhi hara diya usne.

girl 2 (thoda sochne k baad ): Abe bewkoof bana gaya woh hume.

girl1: Kaise?

girl 2: Saala lefty hi hoga.....

SANTA APNI WIFE KI DELIVERY KE TIME

!!SANTA APNI WIFE KI DELIVERY KE TIME!!

Nurse: Aapko Judwa Bacche Huye.

Santa: Hona Hi Tha ji Picture Hi Aise Dekhi Thi.

Dhoom 2
!
Golmaal 2
!
Raaz 2
!
Don 2

saare ke saare 2's

Nurse: Achcha Hua Delhi-6 Nahi Dekhi.....

!! Pappu nahi Sudhrega !!

!! Pappu nahi Sudhrega !!

Pappu in Hotel: Main yahan nahin rahunga.

Mere paise wapas karo.

Itna chhota room?

Na hi koi khidki na hi koi balcony?

Mujhe jaanwar samjha hai kya?

Waiter: Mere Baap, Upar chal, yeh LIFT hai...

!! A cute love story... !!

!! A cute love story... !!
GIRL: Kya me tumhen pyari lagti hoon?

BOY. Nahi

GIRL: kya tum mere 7 rehna chahte ho?

BOY:Nahi

Girl. Agar me mar jaon to aap ro ge?

BOY. Nahi

Ladki udas ho gayi usay bahut dukh hua or Wo rone lagi

Ladke ne usay apne qareeb kiya Or kaha

Tum Pyari nahi bahut Khubsoorat ho

Mein tumhare7 rehna nahi balki Jeena chahta hoon

Or

Agar tumhen kuch ho gaya to Me rounga Nahi MAR jaonga.!

What A "Boys" msg for the All LOVER's...!! its real love...

simple explanation.....

The mother-in-law arrives home from the mall to find her son-in-law boiling angry and hurriedly packing his suitcase.

"What happened ?" she asks anxiously.

"What happened!
I'll tell you what happened. I sent an email to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my business trip. I get home, and guess what I found?

Yes, your daughter, my wife, with a guy in our marital bed! This is unforgivable, the end of our marriage. I'm done. I'm leaving forever !"

"Calm down, calm down!" says his mother-in-law.

"There is something very odd going on here. My daughter would never do such a thing! There must
be a simple explanation. I'll go speak to her immediately and find out
what happened."

Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile.

"I told you there must be a simple explanation..... she didn't receive your E-mail !"

A Romantic Wife

A middle-aged couple had finally learned how to send and receive texts on their cell phones.

The wife, being a romantic at heart, decided one day that she'd send her husband a text while she was out of the house having coffee with a friend...

She texted:

If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.

If you are laughing, send me your smile.

If you are eating, send me a bite.

If you are drinking, send me a sip.

If you are crying, send me your tears.

I love you.

The husband, being a no-nonsense sort of guy,

texted back:

I'm on the toilet. Please advise what should i send you.

Lady's knowledge about a car.

Lady's knowledge about a car.

A woman went to a Maruti dealer and asked for a seven-hundred- ten.

All looked at each other, and the mechanic asked, "What is a seven-hundred- ten?"

She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine. I lost it and need a new one. It had always been there."

The mechanic gave the woman a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710 !!

He then took her over to another car which had the hood up and asked, "Is there a 710 on this car?"

She pointed and said, "Of course, it's right there."

Now scroll below to learn what a 710 is..........
.
.
.
.

Mechanic fainted after seeing the below picture

WhatsApp Fever!

Boy: Hello Babe.... (11:45pm)

Girl: (last seen at 11:46pm)

Boy: Hey please answer me :) ( 11:50pm)

Girl: (last seen at 11:52pm)

Boy: But why do you treat me like that? Why don't you answer me? (12:00am)

Girl: (last seen at 12:00am)

Boy: Ok good night dear, I just wanted to tell you that today I have received my salary worth Rs.50,000 and I have reserved 20k for your shopping... but I think...

Girl (typing): Ohh! Hi dear... Actually mum was there that's why I couldn't reply... N wow darling that's a great news... I love you a lot... N when shall we go ?(12:05am)

Boy: (last seen 12:06am)

Girl: Baby please answer me na... dear I was off last time, let me know na when shall we go?(12:08am)

Boy: (last seen 12:09am)

Girl: I think your luking very tired because off work load... So now you go to bed and sleep well honey, take care. (12:10am)

Boy: (last seen 12:12am)

Girl: Sorry to disturb you but I think I forgot to tell you that tomorrow mom and dad are not at home in the evening, so you can come to my place after the shopping. Love you janu. Good Night. (12:20am)

Boy (typing): Ohh I was preparing for sleep, surely we will meet... c ya tomorrow... mmuuahhh..........!!!

Pappu ko ek lawaris bandar mila...

Pappu ko ek lawaris bandar mila...

Wo usko police station le gya..

Inspector ne kaha, isko zoo le ke jao.


Next day inspector ne pappu ko bandar k sath bus stop par dekha,


inspector: isko zoo nahi le kar gaye???


Pappu: kal gaye the, khub ghume, bada maza aya,

!

!
Aaj Qutub Minar ja rahe hai...

Wah ! mera beta to bahot brilliant hai

Pappu:- 6,7.

Dad:- wah mera beta to bahot brilliant hai

Or 6,7 k baad..??

Pappu:- 8,9,10..

Dad:- kya baat hai beta

or

uske baad.........?.?

Pappu:.....Gulam, begum, badshah.

Upset Girlfriend

Santa was watching peter and tom and he die...

Peter : I want my money now !

Tom : I will kill myself so that I won't pay you..

"he pulled a gun & shot himself & dead"

Peter : hahaha..... If u think u'll get away with my money ur wrong,
I'll follow you until you pay me..

Peter takes the gun n shot him self dead as well..

Santa was watching from a distance he laughed & said : these guys are funny, I want to watch this till the end....

he also took the gun and killed himself !

TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS AT THE END...

Santa is appearing on (KBC) Kaun Banega Crorepati

Santa is appearing on "Kaun Banega Crorepati (KBC)" with Amitabh Bachchan.

Amitabh: "Santa, you`re up to Rs Fifty lakhs, with one lifeline left: phone a friend.
If you get it right, the next question is worth a crore rupees If you get it wrong,
you drop back to Rs 3,20,000. Are you ready?"

Santa: "Yes."

Amitabh: "Which of the following birds does not build it`s own nest? Is it A) robin, B) sparrow, C) cuckoo, or D) thrush."

Santa: "I`d like to phone a friend. I`d like to call Banta."

Banta answers the phone: "Hello?"

Amitabh: "Hello Banta ji, it`s Amitabh Bachchan from KBC. I have your friend Santa here who needs your help to answer the final question.
The next voice you hear will be Santa`s...''

Santa: "Banta, which of the following birds does not build it`s own nest? Is it
 A) robin, B) sparrow, C) cuckoo, or D) thrush."

Banta: "Oh geez, Santa. That`s simple. It`s a cuckoo."

Santa: "Are you sure?"

Banta: "I`m sure."

Amitabh: "Santa, you heard Banta. Do you keep the fifty lakhs or play for one crore?"

Santa: "I want to play; I`ll go with C) cuckoo".

Amitabh:" Is that your final answer?"

Santa: "Yes."

Amitabh: "Confident?"

Santa: "Yes; I think Banta`s pretty smart."

Amitabh: "You said C) cuckoo... And you`re right! Congratulations, you have just won ONE CRORE!"

To celebrate, Santa flies Banta to Ludhiana. That night they go out on the town.
As they`re sipping champagne, Santa looks at Banta and asks him,
"Tell me, how did you know that it was the cuckoo that does not build its own nest?"

"It was easy," replies Banta.

"Everybody knows that cuckoos live in clocks."

Life in Movies...

1.College:" Yaadein.. .. 2.Pricipal:" Jaani Dushman.. .. 3.Classes:" Kabhi kabhi.. .. 4.Canteen:" Kabhi alvida na kehna.. .. 5.Course:" Godzilla.. .. 6.Exams:" Kalyug.. .. 7.Examination hall:" Chamberof secret.. .. 8.Exam-time:" Qayamat se qayamt tak.. .. 9. Question paper:" Paheli.. .. 10.Answer paper:" Kora kagaz.. .. 11.Cheating:" Aksar/Chupke chupke.. .. 12. Paper out:" Plan .. 13.Examiner:" The killer .. 14.Last exam:" Independence day .. 15.Paper correction:" Andha kanoon .. 16.Marks:" Assambhav .. 17.Result:" Murder .. 18.Pass:" Ajjoba Chamatkar .. 19. Fail:" Devdas .. 20.Supplementar y:"Aakhri raasta .. 21.Vacation:" Waah life ho toaisi....

Exams Life...

Exams Life... .. 9am:"Wake-up .. 10am:"Breakfast .. 11am:"Thinking 2 score 80% .. 12am:"Watch TV .. 1pm:"Lunch .. 2pm:"Thodi neend le ke padhenge dimagh set hoga .. .. 4pm:"Games .. 5pm:"Thinking 2 score 60% .. 6pm:"Troubling friends "kuch padha ?? .. 8pm:"Searching books. .. 9pm:"Dinner .. 10pm:"Lo bhai light gayi.. .. 11pm:"plz bhagwan! Bas pass kara de... .. 12pm:"Aaj to "Bhad Me Jaye Padhai" kal se pakka padhunga... :D:D

Ek darawni kahani hai...

Ye 1 darawni kahani hai, kamjor dil wale ise na pade..!! Barsat ki 1 raat me 1 budha aadmi hath me 1kitab bechne ke liye khda tha, 1 aadmi aaya aur usne vo kitab 3000/- mein kharid li Budhe aadmi ne kitab de ke kaha: Jab tk koi musibat na aye kitab ka LAST PAGE mat dekna. Aadmi ne kitab puri pad li lekin dar ke karan last page nahi khola. 1 din usse raha nahi gaya aur last page khol ke dekh hi liya aur sadme se mar gya.. last page par likha tha.. . . . MRP-Rs 15/- only!

Gareebi Kya Hai.. ??

Gareebi Kya Hai.. ?? .. Jab 1 Khubsurat Ladki 2 Rupiye Me Kiss Karne Ko Taiyaar Ho.. . . . . . Aur.. . . . . . Tumhare Paas Sirf 1 Rupiya Ho..

Class Ki Group Photo Dekhte Hue

Class Ki Group Photo Dekhte Hue Teacher Baccho Se Kahne Lagi Ki . . . Jab tum Log Bade Hoke ye deko ge to Kahoge, . . Ye Raju Hai Jo America Chala Gaya.. . . Ye Chandu Hai Jo London Chala Gaya.. . . Aur Ye pappu Hai Jo WahiKa Wahi Reh Gya.. . . . . Pappu gusse se Bola:"or Ye Humari Kamini TeacharHai Jinka dehant ho gya... :O:D

Santa ki modern wife

Santa ki modern wife ne use office jaate waqt pyaar se kaha. . 'see you in the evening' . . . . . . . . Santa: 'main bhi tujhe dekh lunga kameeni, . . dhamki apne baap ko dena

Yaar Uth Bhukamp Aa Raha Hai

Banta: " Yaar Uth Bhukamp Aa Raha Hai, Saara Ghar Hil Raha Hai.. . . . . . . . . . . . Santa: " Soja-Soja Ghar Girega To Makaan Maalik Ka, Hum To Kirayedar Hain...

WHERE is my BiRTHDAY GiFT?

GiRL : WHERE is my BiRTHDAY GiFT? . Boy : ROAD pe RED COLOUR ki CAR DEKH rahi ho? . GiRL KHUSHi se : WOW. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. Boy : SAME COLOUR ki NAiL-POLiSH tere Liye Laya hoon.

18+ Only

18+ Only BOY : I want us to be in a relationship. GIRL : Its okay but under one condition. BOY : Which one ? GIRL : No sex, bcoz am preserving it for my future husband. BOY : Thats okay, I also have my condition. GIRL : Which one ? BOY : No using of my money coz am preserving it for my future wife!!! GIRL : Lo tum toh serious ho gaye.. Arre I was kidding jaanu Boy: Can i Kiss u? Girl: Condom laye ho? Boy: kiss k liye condom? Girl : sharif to aise ban rahe ho jaise kissing k bad jo Khada hoga uspe 2014 ka Calender tangoge!!

Kuch Aise Sawaal....

Kuch Aise Sawaal Jinke Answer Google Par Bhi Nahi Milenge..:O . . 1- Log Chloromint Kyo Khaate Hai..?? . . 2-Melody Itni Choclaty Kyu Hai..?? . . 3-CID Kab Khatam Hoga...?? . . 4-Serial Main Leap Aata Hai To Character Ke Face Kaise Badal Jaate Hai..??

Har ladka kamina nai hota

Shaadi main ek SMART ladka ladki se: "aap
dance karogi.. :))
.
.
Ladki sharma k boli: "yes."
.
.
.
Ladka pyar se bola:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
To phir aapki "kursi" main le jaon sister..??
Moral: Har ladka kamina nai hota

Pappu pe BIJLI ki taar gir gayi...

Pappu pe BIJLI ki taar gir gayi:
Pappu tadap tadap ke mrne hi wala tha.
.
ki
.
Use yaad aaya..
BIJLI to 2 din se band hai,
jaldi se wapas utha or bola: Sala dara diya mujhe to..!!

Pappu ne FM Radio pe phone kiya

Pappu ne FM Radio pe phone kiya aur kaha :
Mujhe ek Purse mila hai, jisme 5000 cash. . .
ek Credit Card aur uska ID mila hai...
.
.
.
Radio Jockey : Wah... Aap kitne imaandaar hain...
.
.
Kya aap unhe wo purse waapis karna chahenge. . ???

Pappu : Nahi...
.
.
.
.
Main chahta hu ki uske liye ek SAD SONG bajaya jaaye..

Ek Din Santa samundar me dahi daal raha tha..

Ek Din Santa samundar me dahi daal raha tha.. Banta: kya kar raha hai? Santa: Lassi bana raha hun. Banta: Yeh kya Pagalpan hai?? Teri aisi harkaton se hi log hum pe joke banate hai.. ab bata..... . . . . . . . . . Itni Saari Lassi kon piyega...??

Santa is back

Santa train me ek seat par akela leta tha ! ! Ek aadmi aaya aur bola: bhai thoda side me ho jaiye mujhe bhi baithna hai ! ! Santa:- tujhe pata hai mai kaun hu..?? ! ! Aadmi darr k dusri jagah baithgaya ! ! ! Phir ek pahalwan aaya aur bola:- side me ho ja chotu mujhe baithna hai ! ! ! Santa:- abe oye tujhe pata hai mai kaun hu ! ! Pahalwan ne santa ki gardan pakad k utha liya ! ! aur bola:- haan bol tu kaun hai.....?? ! ! ! ! Santa:- ji mai " Bimaar " hu.. 2din se tezz bukhar hai.

Ek Pahalwaan or Conductor

Ek Pahalwaan, jo 6 feet Lamba aur strong tha, bus
me ja raha tha..
.
.
Conductor:" Bhaisahab Ticket
.
.
Pahalwaan:" ham Ticket nahi liya karte..
.
.
Conductor Ghabra gaya, par kuch kar na saka, par
vo ye baat dil pe le gaya aur gym join kar liya..
.
.
Daily wo pahalwaan se puchta aur pahalwaan bolta
ham ticket nhi lete
.
.
Aise 6 months nikal gye...
.
.
Ab conductor bhi pahalwan ki tarah tagda ho gya...
.
.
Agle Din conductor:" Bhai ticket lele..
.
.
Pahalwaan:" Hum ticket nhi lete..
.
.
Conductor:" chaati dikhate hue "Q nhi leta bey ??
.
.
Pahalwaan:" Pass banwa rakha hai, isliye nhi leta..

18+ only

18+ Only

BOY : I want us to be in a relationship.

GIRL : Its okay but under one condition.

BOY : Which one ?

GIRL : No sex, bcoz am preserving it for my future husband.

BOY : Thats okay, I also have my condition.

GIRL : Which one ?

BOY : No using of my money coz am preserving it for my future wife!!!

GIRL : Lo tum toh serious ho gaye.. Arre I was kidding jaanu

Boy: Can i Kiss u?

Girl: Condom laye ho?

Boy: kiss k liye condom?

Girl : sharif to aise ban rahe ho
jaise kissing k bad jo Khada hoga uspe 2014 ka Calender tangoge!!

Mein padosi se pyar karti hu

Beti: Mein padosi se pyar karti hu
aur uske
sath
bhag rahi hu!
.
.
.
.
.
Baap: Thanks mere paise aur time
dono
bach gye.
.
.
.
.
.
Beti: Papa mein to letter padh rahi
hu!
jo mummy rakh ke Gayi..!!

Birthday gift

GiRL : WHERE is my BiRTHDAY
GiFT?
.
Boy : ROAD pe RED COLOUR ki
CAR DEKH rahi
ho?
.
GiRL KHUSHi se : WOW.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
Boy : SAME COLOUR ki NAiL-
POLiSH tere Liye
Laya hoon.

Don't be over smart

KID :- Why some of ur hair are white
dad ?
DAD : – Every time you make me
unhappy ,
one of my hair turns white ….
.
KID :- Now understand why
grandpa’s
hairs are all white …..
Moral :- Don’t be over smart .. xD

Height of coolness....

Height of coolness:
2 Guys coming out of the examination Hall with
chips and coke in hands....

1st guy:which paper was it?

2nd guy:I think maths......

1st guy:(surprisingly) you read the question
paper?

2nd guy: no I saw a girl sitting besides me using
calculator 

Santa in BMW

Santa in bmw at Petrol Pump:"
5 Rupaiye Ka petrol daal do.."
.
.
.
.
.
Pump wala (gusse me):" Itna
sara petrol
dalwa ke kahaan jana hai ???
.
.
.
.
Santa:" Jaana kahi nahi hai
pagle,
Hum to aise hi paise udaate
hai"..

Santa ki modern wife

Santa ki modern wife ne use office
jaate waqt
pyaar se kaha.
.
'see you in the evening'
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Santa: 'main bhi tujhe dekh lunga
kameeni,
.
.
dhamki apne baap ko dena

Life m ek baat hamesha yaad rakhna...

Life Main Ek Baat Hamesha Yaad
Rakhna..
.
.
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.
.
.
.
Ki
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Cream Biscuit Main Cream
Hoti Hai Lekin..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Tiger Biscuit Main Tiger
Nahi Hota..

Police ne 2 ladkon aur ek ladki ko...

Police ne 2 ladkon aur ek ladki ko pakda.
.
.
Police:" Tumhara naam kya hai.. ??
1st boy:" Mera naam Kishan hai aur mai baansuri
baja raha tha..
Police:" Achha tum jao..
Tumhara naam kya hai.. ??
.
.
2nd boy:" Mera naam Kanhaiya hai aur mai
baansuri baja raha tha..
.
.
Police:" Achha tum bhi jao..
.
.
Police to girl:" Aur tum bhi baansuri baja rahi
hogi.. ??
.
.
.
.
.
Girl:" Nahi mera hi naam Baansuri hai..

A short walk is so difficult

A short walk is so difficult
when
no one walks with you
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
but a long journey is just
like a
few steps when a
street dog is running behind
you..

Touching words by a Father...

Touching words by a Father....!!!!!
!
Dear son,
!
!
!
!
!
If u think that your Dad, Mom, and ur Teacher are strict and harassing you........


Wait for a wife.... then u will love them all !!! 

I Love U....

Boy: I Love U .

Girl: But I Love Someone Else, . .

Boy: Okay, No Problem, Ur happiness Is More Important For Me Than Ur Love. . . . . .

MORAL: Jaha Aur Kuch Nahi Kar Sakte Wahan Dialogue To Acche chipka dene chahiye.. !!

During an English lesson.....

During an English lesson, the teacher notices that a boy was not paying attention to her.

Teacher:
!
!
Pappu, join these two sentences together...

I was cycling to school. I saw a dead body.
!
!
!
!
!
!
Pappu: (thinking for a while) I saw a dead body cycling to school.

Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan ?

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan ?

Operator: Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to me. Who is this?

Caller: I’m Sam Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It’s urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what’s this urgent matter about?

Caller: Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.

Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn’t an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don’t have time for this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I’m Saw Ree.

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!

Operator: That’s what I said. I’m Saw Ree

Caller: Oh God!!

"Gold Flake"hi Mangwana...

Doctor:"Kya takleef hai.. ?? .

Pappu:"Seenay me Bohot dard ho Raha hai.. .

Doctor:"Cigrette Peety ho..?? . .

Pappu:"Han Par "Gold Flake"hi Mangwana...

Pappu, Santa & Banta Bike pe ja rahe the.

Pappu, Santa & Banta Bike pe ja rahe the.
.
Wo log Signal tod dete hai aur Traffic Police wala unhe rokta hai...
But wo log nahi rukte.
.
.
.
.
Age jake Traffic Police wala unhe pakad Leta hai aur kehta hai ke abbe tujhe rokne ke liye bola tha na.. Ruka kyu nahi?
.
.
.
Pappu kehta hai abbe Dhakkan tere ko dikhai nahi deta kya? pehle se 3 baithe hai tujhe kaha bithayenge..?!! :P

Hello, Pammi Darling... kaisi ho

Boy : Hello, Pammi Darling... kaisi ho ?

Girl : Who's this ?

Boy : Tera aashiq hun; jaaneman !!

Girl : Tu Bunty hai na...

Boy : Yes; but how do you know ?

Girl : Tu Bansilal ka beta hai na......

Boy : Yes but how you know me ??

Girl : Tu Ramlal ka pota hai na.....

Boy : Yes !! but jaanu, tumhe ye sab kaise pata....?

Girl : Bunty Haramkhor; kutte, mai teri Maa hun !!..
Tune 'Pummi' ko nahi,'Mummi' ko phone lagaya hai!!! :P

A man got a call from unknown number..

A man got a call from unknown number..

Girl:"Hi, r u single.. ??

Man:"Yes, but who r u.. ??

Ans:"Your wife.. Aaj ghar aana tab bataoogi..

Another call from unknown number..

Girl:"R u married.. ??

Man:"Yes, but who R u.. ??

Girl:"Your girlfriend, U cheat..

Man:"Sorry baby, I thought it was my wife..

Ans:"Wife hi hoon kutte, aaj tu bas ghar aaja.

zyada lecture dene se bezti bhi ho jati hai ...

Story: once a boy was smoking atairport.

Girl asked:1 din me kitne cigrete peete ho.?

Boy:why.?

Girl: Agar ab tak zindagi mein cirgrete pe kharch kiye huye paise bachate to samne khari hui car tmhari hoti...

Boy: Ap cigrate peeti hai..?

Girl: No.

Boy: To kya wo car apki hai..?

Girl: No.

Boy: Thanks for advice,Wo car meri he hai...

MORAL: zyada lecture dene se bezti bhi ho jati hai ..

Ek Haseen Ladki Raja ke Darbar mein

Ek Haseen Ladki Raja ke Darbar mein dance kar rahi thi..
.
(Raja bahut Bad-Surat tha)
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Ladki ne Raja se Ek Sawal ki Ijajat maangi...
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Raja ne Kaha,'Puccho.'
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Ladki ne kaha,'Jab Khuda Husn Taqsim kar raha tha,
Tab Aap kahan the..??
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Raja ne ghussa na kiya, balki Muskurate huey Kaha,'

Jab TUM Husn ki line me khadi husn le rahi thi,
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Toh main Kismat ki Line me khada Kismat le raha tha....
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Aur Aaj Tujh Jaisi Husn Waliya'n meri gulam ki tarah Nach Rahi hai..
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Isi Liye Shayar Khoob Kehta hai,
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"Husn na maang Naseeb maang Ae Dost, Husn Waale to Aksar Naseeb Walo ke Gulam hua Karte hai

Apki Beti k Nakhre Khtm Ho Tab Na

Principle: Late Q Hue

santa: Bike Khrab Ho Gai Thi

Principle: Bus Me Nahi Aa Skty The

Santa: Maine Kaha Th SIR Par Apki Beti k Nakhre Khtm Ho Tab Na

Santa ki shaadi ek nurse se ho gayi...

Santa ki shaadi ek nurse se ho gayi.

Banta: Aur santa, kaisi nibh rahi hai?

Santa: Pooch mat yaar, jab tak sister na kaho, bolti hi nahi 

Ek baar Santa Gangubai k ghar jata hai

Ek baar Santa Gangubai k ghar jata hai aur darwaza knock karta hai.

Gangubai: Kaun ?

Santa: Mai !

Gangubai: Main kaun?

Santa: are pagali Tu Gangubai 

Hindi Teacher and student

Hindi Teacher:" Prasang Sahit nimnlikhit Pankti ka varnan Kijiye:

"Munni badnaam hui, Darling tere liye.."
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Student:" Ye Pankti bollywood ke prasidh Kavi Shri Salman Khan ke chal chitra ''Dabang'' ke "Munni Badnaam" namak kavita se li gyi hai..

Is kavita mein Kavi mayavi Sundri Malaika arora ko sambodhit karte huye pyar mein badnaam hone ki prerna dete hai..
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Kavi ne is kavita ke madhyam se munni ki tulna jhandu baam aur atom bomb se ki hai..

is kavita se hume kavi ki gehri soch aur tulnatmak smriti ka ehsaas hota hai..:) :D

2 rupaye lene they.....

Girlfriend :”Last night I had a dream of you.”
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Boyfriend (got excited):”Maine kya kiya tumhare sapne mein aa ke”
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Girlfriend replied :”We were traveling in bus, Suddenly the bus lost control and fell in the river.
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Everyone swam to save their life, but you were still swimming and searching for someone.”
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Boyfriend (with luv):”I was searching for you, na?
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Girlfriend said: NO, You were shouting,
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“Arrey, conductor kidhar gaya, 2 rupaye lene the”

Ek tha Bhagwan..... Ek tha Shaitan.....

Ek tha Bhagwan..... Ek tha Shaitan.....

Dono me jab jhagda hua to bahut hua Nuksaan.

Dono ne milkar samasya ka nikala ek samadhan.

Ek khilona banaya aur uska naam rakha INSAAN.

Shaitan ne apni taaqatein di..... Krodh, Ghamand aur Jalan.

Bhagwan ne apne ansh diye..... Pyaar, Daya aur Sammaan,

Bhagwan se muskurakar bola fir shaitan.

Na tera Nuksaan..... Na mera Nuksaan.

Tu Jeetey ya Mein Jeetu,

HAAREGA INSAAN..

Ek Baar Ki Baat Hai...

Ek Baar Ki Baat Hai, Pappu Apni Girlfriend Ko
Ek Restaurant Main Lekar Gaya..
Uske Paas Paise Nahi The,
Wo ApniJeb Main Ek Coackroach Le kar Gaya,
Aur Saara Khana Khane Ke Baad,
Usne Soup Mangaya Aur Usme Cockroach Daal Diya,
Aur Jor jor Se Chillane Laga,”Ye Kya Laga Rakha Hai,
Customer Ko Zeher Khilate Ho
”Manager Ne Request Ki, Please Shor Mat Machaiye Aur Saara Bil Maaf Ho Gaya..

Agle Din Usne Ye Story Apne Ek Friend Ko Sunayi,
Aur Uska Friend Bhi Uski Girlfriend Ko Lekar Usi Restaurant Main Gaya,
Aur Jab Usne poora Khana khane Ke Baad Soup Order Kiya,

To Reply Mila Ki Soup Khatam Ho Gaya hai...:p :O :D :D

PAPPU KE KARNAME!!!!!!!!!

Papu:"Mujhe Dog Food lena hai..
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SALES GIRL:"Kya apke pas Kutta hai.. ??
Papu:"Ha ghar pe hai..
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SALES GIRL:"Sorry! Store policy hai ke zarurat dekh kar item sale karo..
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NEXT DAY papu:"Mujhe Cat Food lena hai
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SALES GIRL:"Sorry Sir pehle Billi la ke dekhao..
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3 din bad Papu bag le ke store aya aur bola:"Bag me hath dal ke sabot dekh lo..
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SALES GIRL hath dal ke boli:"Koi Garm, Geeli aur Mulayum cheez hai Kya hai..??
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Papu:"Ye meri Potty hai, aur mujhe aaj
"TOILET PAPER" lena hai...:p:O :D

Shakal dekh ke hassi aa jati hai..

Girl: What's the proof that you miss me ??
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Boy:"See my cheeks, My mom slapped me.. .
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Because i was smiling while sleeping"Thinking of You"
Girl:"Awwwwww Itna Pyaar karte ho
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Boy:"Nahin, Shakal dekh ke hassi aa jati hai...awww

Power of Wife !!!

Shohar Biwi Se: Ye kya !!! Tum Ek Aur Saree Le Aayi ??? Abhi Parso Hi Toh ...

Biwi Chilla kar boli: Kya Parso ???

Bolo ...

Bolo ...

Kya Kaha Tumne ???

Ruk Kyun Gaye ???

Kya Parso ???

Parso Kya ??? Bolo Jaldi !!! Jaldi Bolo Naa ...

Bataao Kya Parso ???

Shohar: Kuchh Nahi Jaanu, Mai toh bas yeh keh raha tha ki Parso bhi EK HI Saree laayi thi Pagli, Aaj toh 2 Le Aati !

Dost Kabhi Nahi Badalte...

Result Agar Achchha ho .
Maa: "Bhagwan Ki Kripa Hai. .
Papa: "Beta Kiska Hai. .
Dost: "Chal Daaru Peete Hai.

Result Agar Bura Ho. .
Maa: "Aag Lage Is Mobile Me. .
Papa: "Laad Pyar Ne Bigaad Diya. .
Dost: "Chal Daaru Peete Hai. .

Birthday Par.. .
Maa: "Jug Jug Jiye Mera Beta. .
Papa: "Hamesha Aage Badhe. .
Dost: "Chal Daaru Peete Hai. .

LOVE Me Fail Hone Par. .
Maa: "Beta Bhool ja Usko. .
Papa: "Mard Ban Mard. .
Dost: "Chal Daaru Peete Hai.. . . . .
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Moral: "Dost Kabhi Nahi Badalte

Andha Hai Kya Be...

After Accident:
American:"Its Fine Man.. . . .
British:"I am So Sorry . . .
Australia:"No Worries Dude . . . .
Germany:"Are You Okay... ??
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India:"Andha Hai Kya Be...
Akkal Ke Dushman Saale Tere Baap Ki Road Hai Kya Bahar Nikal Dekh Teri Kaise Bajaata Hu...
Paiiiiseeee nikaaal.. 

I am the BOSS..

Boy : Marry me.. ?
Girl: Do you have a house.. ?
Boy : No..
Girl: Do you have a BMW car.. ?
Boy : No..
Girl: How much is your salary.. ?
Boy : No salary.. but,..
Girl: No but. You have nothing.. How can i marry you.?? Leave please.!!
Boy: (talk to himself) I have one villa, 3 property lands, 3 Ferrari, 2 Porsche..
Why I still need to buy BMW.?!
How can I get the salary when actually I am the BOSS..

Guru Hamesa Guru hi hota hai...

5 Doctor, 5 Engineer Aur 1 Teacher Helicopter Ki Rassi se latke the.. .
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Pilot ne kaha, wajan jyada hai koi 1 Aadmi Rassi chor de, . .
Teacher bola ye Kurbani main dunga..
TALIYAN Bajaiye, . .
Aur sare Doctor Taali bajane lage Aur Wajan kam ho gaya.. .
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Moral of the story: "Chahe Doctor ban jao ya Engineer, Par Guru Hamesa Guru hi hota hai...

Pappu ne exam k liye...

Pappu ne exam k liye Question Paper banaya..
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Paper dekhte hi saare bache behosh ho gye
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Questions kuchh is tarah k the:
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1.China kis Desh me hai ??
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2. 15 Aug kis Date ko Aati hai.. ??
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3.Green Rang kis Color ka Hota hai.. ??
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4.Tamatar ko Hindi me kya Bolte hai.. ??
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5.Mumtaz ki Qabar me Kon hai... ??

Student Ki Notebook Ke Last Page...

Student Ki Notebook Ke Last Page pe Kya Milega ??
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1. ) Love % Check Krne Wala Game

2. ) Pen Ko Chalane Ke Liye Nikali Gayi Ink

3. ) Silent Class Mein Baat Karne Ke Liye Likhi Gayi Batein

4. ) Exams K Liye Importants

5. ) Test Ki Dates

6. ) Cross Vs Zero Game

7. ) Dost Ne Likha Hua Crush Ka Name Aur Us Pe Pen Se Itna Ghisa Hua Ki Koi Padh Na Le..

8. ) Apna Sign With Different Types..

4 Students Ne Paper Ki Tayari...

4 Students Ne Paper Ki Tayari Nahi Ki, .
Unho Ne 1 Plan Banaya Aur Wo Agle Din Principal Ko Bole, .
Sir Hum Shadi Mein Gaye The, .
Raste Me Gaadi Ka Tyre Punchure Ho Gaya,
Hum Saari Raat Dhaka Lagate Rahe, . .
Is Liye Padh Nahi Sake,
Principal Ne Maan Liya Aur Unhe 1 Din Ka Time Diya,
1 Din Baad Unhe 4 Alag Rooms Mein Bithaya,
Aur Sirf 1 Sawal Diya, .
Question : "Konsa Tyre Punchure Hua Tha..?? .
1 : "Front Right"
2 : "Front Left"
3 : "Back Right"
4 : "Back Left" .
Note:" Agar Sabka Answer Same Hua to Sab Pass.. :P ;) :*

Solid beezatti on Facebook Chat Conversation

Solid beezatti on Facebook Chat Conversation :

Boy: Hey!

Girl: What?

Boy: Hi

Girl: Bye!

Boy: Why?

Girl: Didn't heard What I Said? Get Lost!

Boy: Okay As you Wish!

But I Wanna Say Something to You!

Girl: What? Say Fast, I don't have Time!

Boy: *Laughing* If I Ever Wanted to Commit a Suicide,
I'll Definitely Jump from your Ego Level to your IQ Level!
Now Get Lost Saali Chudail....

Solid beezatti on Facebook Chat Conversation

Solid beezatti on Facebook Chat Conversation :

Boy: Hey!

Girl: What?

Boy: Hi

Girl: Bye!

Boy: Why?

Girl: Didn't heard What I Said? Get Lost!

Boy: Okay As you Wish!

But I Wanna Say Something to You!

Girl: What? Say Fast, I don't have Time!

Boy: *Laughing* If I Ever Wanted to Commit a Suicide,
I'll Definitely Jump from your Ego Level to your IQ Level!
Now Get Lost Saali Chudail....

Solid beezatti on Facebook Chat Conversation

Solid beezatti on Facebook Chat Conversation :

Boy: Hey!

Girl: What?

Boy: Hi

Girl: Bye!

Boy: Why?

Girl: Didn't heard What I Said? Get Lost!

Boy: Okay As you Wish!

But I Wanna Say Something to You!

Girl: What? Say Fast, I don't have Time!

Boy: *Laughing* If I Ever Wanted to Commit a Suicide,
I'll Definitely Jump from your Ego Level to your IQ Level!
Now Get Lost Saali Chudail....

Husband & Wife

Wife: I love you baby...!
Husband: (softly) I love you too..!!
Wife: Aise kyun bola...! ??
Husband: Bas thoda mood off tha...!!
Wife: Doston ke saath toh bade khush rehte ho, aur mere saath hidrame karte ho...!
Husband: (pyar se) Aisa kuch nahi jaanu, tabiyat thodi theek nahi hai...!!
Wife: Haan abhi dost phone karega toh 2 sec mein tabiyat theek ho jayegi..!
Husband: Dost kahan se aa gaye, mera mood thoda upset hai bas...!!
Wife: Mere saath hi yeh sab hota hai, friends ke saath enjoy karte ho, badi has has ke pictures click karwate ho. Ya koi aur ladki pasand aa gayi hai...! ??
Husband: (aur jyada pyar se) arrey, kahan se kahan baat le jaa rahi ho...!! ?
Wife: Aaj sab clear hoga...!
Husband: Kya clear karna hai jaanu, aisa kya ho gaya...!!??
Wife: (khud confused) Jab tum khud clear nahi, tumhe kuch pata nahi toh mein kya bolun...!
Husband: (trying to act smart) Tumhe hua kya hai!! kis baat pe upset ho?? Batao...!!
Wife: Tumhari sangat hi kharab hai...!
Husband: Mere saath toh tum ho...!!
Wife: Ab bohot ho gaya, ab aur nahi...!
Husband: (fully crashed) Hua kya hai, yeh toh bata do...!!
Wife: Hum ab saath nahi reh sakte...!
Husband: Ye baat kahan se aayi...!!
Wife: i want Divorce...!
Husband: Hmmmm ok...!!
Wife: (gone crazy) Haan, yehi chahte ho tum toh, fir tum jo marzi kar sako...!
Husband: Arrey tumne khudne bola abhi, maine kya galat kaha...!!
Wife: Itni problem thi toh bola kyun nahi, mein khud bina bole chali jaati tumhari life se...!
Husband: (apne baal pakad kar) Mujhe meri galti toh bata do...!!
Wife: Waqt aane pe pata chalegi tumhe apne aap, jab mein chali jaungi...!
Husband: Acha, toh mein wait karta hoon sahi waqt ka...!!
Wife: Tum serious kab hoge...! ??
Husband: Ab kya hospital mein admit ho jaun serious hone ke liye...!!?
Wife: Go to hell...!
Husband: Don't call me again...!!
AFTER 3 HOURS..
Wife: Tumhe pata hai na mein tumhare bina nahi reh sakti jaanu,sorry i love you my baby...!
Husband: (Sab bhool kar) Acha, i love you tooo...!!
Wife: upset kyun lag rahe ho ?............... !!!!

Sonia gandhi joke - Awesome one

Sonia gandhi 1 school visit karne gayi 1 class me akar boli baccho ko sawal puchna hai to pucho
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Pappu bola mere 3 sawal hai..
Q.1 aap khud prime minister q
nahi bani ??
Q.2 ramleela maidan me police
kisne bheji ??
Q.3 aapka kitna paisa Swiss bank me hai ??
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Isse pehle ki Sonia jawab deti half tym ki bell ho gyi..
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After half tym
Santa khadha hokar bola Mam
mere 5 sawal hai..
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3 to Pappu wale hai
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Q.4:" Half tym ki bell 20 min pehle kaise baji ??
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Or akhiri sawal..
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Q.5:" Pappu kaha hai.. ??