Difference Between Complete & Finish

People say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISH. But there is... When you marry the right one, you are COMPLETE....
And when you marry the wrong one, you are FINISHED..... And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are ... COMPLETELY FINISHED!

Tarak Mehata Ka Oolta Chashma Special

Jethalal :- Ahmedabad Ki Dhoop Se Skin meri Jali,
Ahmedabad Ki Dhoop Se Skin Meri Jali,
Chura Ke Dil Mera, Babita Chali.

Jethalal :- Agr meri shadi meri marji se hoti... Wah wah...
Agr meri shadi meri marji se hoti... Wah wah…
To TAPUDA teri mummy DAYA nhi BABITA hoti

Jethalal : Har Shaam Suhani Nahi Hoti
Har Chahat K Pichhe Kahani Nhi Hoti
Kuch To Asar Zarur Hoga Mahobbat mein Warna
Gori BABITA . . AIYER Ki Diwani Nahi hoti ;)

Exam ke time pe nind acchi aati he... Wah wah...
Exam ke time pe nind acchi aati he... Wah wah...
Jethalal k dukan jane k time pe hi Babita niche kyu aati he...

Romantic SMS Romantic...

SMS She sends the following message:-

My love if you're sleeping, send me your dreams
If you're smiling, send me your smile
If you're crying, send me your tears
I love you
He Replied: I'm in the toilet. What do I send?

How to do BUSINESS


Dad: I want u 2 marry a girl of my choice.
Son: No
Dad: The girl is Bill Gates' daughter.
Son: Then ok ............... ............ Dad goes 2 Bill Gates
Dad: I want ur daughter 2 marry my son.
Bill Gates: No
Dad: My son is the CEO of the WorldBank.
Bill Gates: Then ok................ ............... ......Dad goes 2 the President of the World Bank.
Dad: Appoint my son as the CEO of ur bank.
President:No!
Dad: He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates.
President:Then ok!

This is BUSINESS :P

Smart Girl


Girl: Paros wali Aunty mujhe bohat tang karti thi.

Jab b kisi ki Shadi hoti wo mere gaal kheench k kehti
"AB TUMHARI BARI HAI"..
.
Phir maine unki ye aadat khatam karwa di.

Friend: Kaise?

Girl: Jab kisi ki death ho jati to main un k Gaal kheench kkehti.
"AB AAP KI BARI HAI".. :D

English medium family


English medium family..

Son: Mom u lied to me, :/

Mom: When my son? :O

Son: U said my younger sister is"nannhi pari" :S

Mom: yes she is.. o.O

Son: So why she didn't fly when i threw her from our balcony? ^.^

Mom: tera beda garak ho jaye kuttya, kamineya, mar jayen tu.. kithey sutteyaeee meri pari nu..

Shayar Student


(Kavi ka beta School Mai :P.)
Teacher :- what is Noun?
.
Student :- Arz karta hoon,
.
Kutta bhi hota Hai apni gali mein king,
Wah wah...
Kutta Bhi Hota hai Apni gali mein King.
.
Noun is a Name Of any person place or thing. :P

The Great Pappu

The Great Pappu


Pappu baar baar apna facebook ka Password bhool jata tha.. . . .
Usne socha mein facebook ka pasword kya rakhu jo kabhi na bhoolu.. .
Usne password rakha "INCORRECT" . .
Ab jab bhi wo galat password enter karta Computer usey khud bata deta
Ur password is "Incorrect" :P

Husband shocked...


Husband wanted to call the hospital to ask about his pregnant wife..
but
Accidently called the cricket stadium. He asks, “How’s the situation?”
He was shocked & nearly died on hearing the reply. ..
Think what is reply ..
Don't Know ?
Okk Must Read
They said, “It’s fine. 3 are out, hope to get another 7 out by lunch, last one was a duck!

Teacher v/s Pappu


Teacher v/s Pappu
Teacher at class:" suno bachcho kal tum logo ka group photo shoot hoga, sab log apne apne ghar se Rs.50/- le k aana

Pappu:" saala ye sab teacher logo ki mili bhagat hoti hai, Ek photo k 20/- rupye lagte hai aur hum logo se 50_50 rupye liye ja rahe hai..
matlab ek bachche se 30/- Rupye bachayenge, matlab akele apni class me 60 bachche hai to 60*30=1800 Rs. khuli Loot macha rakhi hai in logo ne..
Fir hamare paiso se ye sab staff room me baith k samosa khayenge, aur hum bachchon ko milega Ghanta..
chal bhai  ghar chalte hai kal mummy se Rs.50/- le k aana.. Bhalai ka to zamaa nahi nahi rah gaya...

Pappu to mom:" Mummy kal school me group photo shoot hona hai teacher ne Rs.100/- rupye mangaye hai...

Jokey thoughts

Thoughts

Every Wife is a "Mistress" for her Husband.
"Miss" for one hour & "Stress" for the rest 23 hours!

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There are 2 times when a Man doesn't understand a Woman.
Before Marriage and After Marriage.

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My Husband And I Divorced Over Religious Differences.
He Thought He Was God, and I Didn't.

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Marriage Is Like A Public Toilet.
Those Waiting Outside Are Desperate To Get In & Those Inside Are Desperate To Come Out.

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Why Were Hurricanes Usually Named After Women?
Because When They Arrive, They're wet and wild,
But When They Go, They Take Your House And Car...

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A Man Goes To The Wizard To Ask If He Can Remove A Curse He Has Been Living With For The Last 40 Years.
The Wizard Says, "Maybe, But You Will Have To Tell Me The Exact Words That Were Used To Put The Curse On You.
"The Man Says Without Hesitation, "I Now Pronounce You Man And Wife."

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Husband Searching Keywords on Google `How to Tackle Wife?
Google Search Result, "Still Searching`.

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A Man Goes To A Shrink And Says, "Doctor, My Wife Is Unfaithful To Me. Every Evening, She Goes To Larry's Bar And Picks Up Men.
In Fact, She Sleeps With Anybody Who Asks Her! I'm Going Crazy. What Do You Think I Should Do?"
"Relax," Says The Doctor, "Take A Deep Breath And Calm Down. Now, Tell Me, Exactly Where Is Larry's Bar?"

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Husband Throwing Darts at His Wife's Photo and Not Even a Single One Hitting the Target...
From Another Room Wife Called The Husband: Honey What Are You Doing...Husband: "MISSING YOU"...

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A Man Goes To See The Rabbi. "Rabbi, Something Terrible Is Happening And I Have To Talk To You About It."
The Rabbi Asked, "What's Wrong?"
The Man Replied, "My Wife Is Poisoning Me."
The Rabbi, Very Surprised By This, Asks, "How Can That Be?"
The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what I should do?"
The Rabbi Then Offers, "Tell You What. Let Me Talk to Her, I'll See What I Can Find out and I'll Let You Know."
The Rabbi Calls after a while And Says, "Well, I Spoke To Her For Three Hours. You Want My Advice?"
The Man Said "Yes"
The Rabbi Replied, "Take the poison"

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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY...
Women are like phones:
They like to be held,
talked to and
touched often.
But push the wrong button
and you're disconnected......

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Difference Between Complete & Finish...
People say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISH. But there is... When you marry the right one, you are COMPLETE....
And when you marry the wrong one, you are FINISHED..... And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are ... COMPLETELY FINISHED!

*****************************

Fekne ki hadd....

Fekne ki hadd....
Girls pure din bhar m apni 100 pic click krengi..
or fir unme se 99 delete karengi
or bacha huaa 1 photo upload karke kahengi

" aise he baithi hui thi kisni ne click kr di"...
hadd h yaar..

Jab Bhi Koi Bachha Paida Hota H..

Jab Bhi Koi Bachha Paida Hota Hai To Sare Khandaan Wale Use Dekhne Aate Hai . .
Bachhe Ka Baap Bete Ko God Mein Utha Ke Bolta Hai :-
“Mere Bete Ka Chehra To Mera Pe Gaya Hai” . .
Maa Pyar Se Dekh Kar Bolti Hai:-
“Iss Ki Aankhein Mere Pe Gayi Hai” . .
Bachhe Ke Mama Dekh Ke Bolta Hai :-
“Is Ke Haath Paon To Bilkul Mere Par Gaye Hai” . .
Chacha Bhi Dekhta Hai Aur Bolta Hai:-
“Arey Iski Muskurahat To Bilkul Mere Jaisi Hai" . . .
Phir Jab Wohi Bachha Bada Ho Kar Ladkiyaan Chedta Hai To Sare Khandan Wale Kehte Hai :- .
“Pata Nahi Ye Kameena Kispe Gaya Hai ?

Time dekhne ka new way


Time dekhne ka new way

2 student raat me padhte huye
.
1st  : kitne baje hai yaar....??
.
2nd : ne patthar uthakar samne wale ghar me mara.
1 aunty nikli aur boli: kamino ab to so
jao raat ke 2 baje bhi cricket khel rahe h


How to Impress a girl now a days

How to Impress a girl now a days
3 boys proposed a girl
1st: Mai tumhare liye apni jaan de sakta hu
Girl: Wo to sab kehte hain
2nd: Mai tumhare liye chand taare todkar la sakta hu
Girl: Purana dialogue hai
3rd: Main tumhari ACTIVA me Roz 1 ltr Petrol dalwaunga
Girl: Ankho me ansu k sath Pagalitna chahta hai mujhe..

Girl v/s Boy
Girl:Kya Tum Mere Ashiq Ho?

Boy:Haan

Girl:To Phir Muje chand, taare, duniya ki saari daulat-khushiya do

Boy:Tera Ashiq Hun, Rajnikant Ka Beta Nahi..
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Husband v/s Wife
Husband: Kal mere khawab main ek larki aye thi. Wah! Kia Larki thee!

Wife: Akeli ayee hogi?

Husband: Tum ko kese pata?

Wife: Uska Husband mere khawab main aya tha

BOOKS BAND

Calling friends 1 day before Exam :
You :"Kuttey, Saale kitna kar liya?"
Friend 1 :"Yaar meri toh 4 unit ho gayi bas 1 bachi hai !":D ...
You (Dissapointed & worried)

calling 2nd friend :"kitna kar liya oye..?"
Friend 2:"1-5 unit poora syllabus finish. Revision bachi hai bas..!";) ...
You ( dissapointed again & now more worried..!)

You (to your best friend) : "kitna kar liya yaar"
Best frnd :"bhai abhi toh shuru bhi ni kiya kuch kar lenge yaar poori raat apni hai :)"
You :"oyeeeeeee tu bhai hai apnaaaa .."
Awesome feeling comes instantly ♥
No disappointment, -No worries:)
"Ab toh raat me hi padhunga,"
BOOKS BAND

POTENTIALITY VS REALITY.......

18+++++ POTENTIALITY VS REALITY.......

Youngest Son: Tell me Daddy, what is the diffrence between Potentiality and Reality?
Dad: I will show you.

Dad turns 2 his wife and asks her: Would you sleep with Robert Redford for 1 million dollars?
Wife: Yes of course..... I would never waste such an opportunity.

Then Dad asks his sister in low, if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for 1 million dollars?
Sister in low: Wow..... Yes! He is my fantasy.

So Dad turns 2 his elder son and asks him: Would you sleep with Tom Cruise for 1 million dollars?
Elder Son: Yeah..... why not? Imagine what I could do with 1 million Dollars..... I would never hesitate.

So the father turns back 2 his younger son saying : you see son, Potentially we are sitting with 3 million dollars, but in Reality we living with 2 prostitutes and 1 gay...

Letter to bill gates

Ek Baar Admin ne Bill Gates ko letter likhta h

Sir,
... Mujhe Kuch Sawal Poochne H...
1. Keyboard K Letters Sahi Jaga Nahi Hen, Keyboard Ka Sahi Version Kab Ayega?

2. Windows Main START Ka Button Hy, STOP Ka Nahi

3. Hum Ms-Word Use Karte Hen, Mr- Word Kab Release Hoga?

4. Keyboard Main ANY KEY Ka Button Nahi to Computer Q Maangta Hy?

Aakhir Main ek Zati Sawal

5. Aap Ka Naam GATES Hai To Aap WINDOWS Q Banatay H

Khul k Maze lo


America ka baap


Santa : Maine apne bete ka naam America rakha hai.
.
... banta: wo kyun?
.
Santa: main duniya ko batana chahta hun ke main America ka baap hun.

Girl chatting with a boy

Girl: Hi baby.
Boy: Hiii honey...(sending failed)
Girl: R u there???
Boy: Yes yesim here… (sending failed)
Girl: R u ignorng me or wat???
Boy: Honey i m nt..i m ryt here… (sending failed)
Girl: Its over..dnt evr talk to me again!
Boy: Ha ja Bhad me jaa kamini.. (message sent)

Husband and his wife
A Husband and his wife agreed that anytime they want to have sex, they will call it a ‘PHONE CALL’ so that the kids will not decode.
One day, the husband sent his son to tell his mother that,
"Daddy wants to make a phone call."
Mother replies: Tell your Dad that the Network is down today.
Dad to his son, "Go tell your mother that if there is no Network at home, I will go to a Public Phone”.
Mother tells her son to go and tell his dad,
"if he dare go to a Public Phone, she will open a Call Center at home!”

Teacher v/s Student
Teacher: What is a verb?
Student: A verb is a valve found in bicycle tyre.
Teacher: What are you saying?.
Student: It is a complete sentence.
Teacher: Are you mad?.
Student: It is a question.
Teacher: Don't be silly.
Student: It is an advice.
Teacher: Stop that nonsense.
Student: It is a command.
Teacher: You are an idiot.
Student: It is an insult!.
Teacher: Get out of my class.
Student: It is an order!
Teacher: Oh my God! What a shame!
Student: It is an exclamation.
Teacher: May God have mercy on you.
Student: It is a prayer sir!

Boy and Girl
Boy to Girl- tumhara naam kya hai??
Girl : kyu Bataun, Me Tumhein Janti bhi nahi hun x-(
Boy: Na Batao Me Konsa Tumhein Apni New Mercedes Car Main Bitha K 5Star Resturant Le Jane Wala Tha.
Girl: Jasmin, B.ComFinal Year, City College College Timing 8am To1pm Friday Timing 8 To 12pm Sunday Off Aati Papa K Sath Hun Wapsi Pe Akeli Hoti Hoon...

Awesome girl
Boy : Tum ladki hoke daaru piti ho ??:O . . . .
Awesome reply by girl : . . . . . .
To kya 2-4 peg k liye gender change karwau..?

What a shayri
Jab mene darwaza khola,
"Apki ankho me aansu,
"Chere pe hasi thi,
"Sanso me aahen,
"Dil me bebasi thi,
"Pehle Q nhi bataya K Darwze me ungli phasi thi.:-D
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Ek ladki apne ghar se bhaag gayi...
.
2 din baad wapas aane par baap ne pucha : Ab kya lene aayi ho...???
.
Ladki : Mobile ka charger
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Boy: Suno jana.
Girl: Chup raho, Khate time baat nahi karte,
khaane k baad
Ladki: Ab bolo
Boy: Teri plate mein cockroch tha, le ab ban Heroine!.:p =D
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Bhikhari : Baabuji roti milegi...???

Aadmi : Biwi ghar par nahi hai...

Bhikari : Saale chumma nahi maang raha...
roti hi to maang raha hu...
wo to tu bhi de sakta hai...
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