Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan ?

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan ?

Operator: Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to me. Who is this?

Caller: I’m Sam Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It’s urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what’s this urgent matter about?

Caller: Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.

Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn’t an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don’t have time for this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I’m Saw Ree.

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!

Operator: That’s what I said. I’m Saw Ree

Caller: Oh God!!

"Gold Flake"hi Mangwana...

Doctor:"Kya takleef hai.. ?? .

Pappu:"Seenay me Bohot dard ho Raha hai.. .

Doctor:"Cigrette Peety ho..?? . .

Pappu:"Han Par "Gold Flake"hi Mangwana...

Pappu, Santa & Banta Bike pe ja rahe the.

Pappu, Santa & Banta Bike pe ja rahe the.
.
Wo log Signal tod dete hai aur Traffic Police wala unhe rokta hai...
But wo log nahi rukte.
.
.
.
.
Age jake Traffic Police wala unhe pakad Leta hai aur kehta hai ke abbe tujhe rokne ke liye bola tha na.. Ruka kyu nahi?
.
.
.
Pappu kehta hai abbe Dhakkan tere ko dikhai nahi deta kya? pehle se 3 baithe hai tujhe kaha bithayenge..?!! :P

Hello, Pammi Darling... kaisi ho

Boy : Hello, Pammi Darling... kaisi ho ?

Girl : Who's this ?

Boy : Tera aashiq hun; jaaneman !!

Girl : Tu Bunty hai na...

Boy : Yes; but how do you know ?

Girl : Tu Bansilal ka beta hai na......

Boy : Yes but how you know me ??

Girl : Tu Ramlal ka pota hai na.....

Boy : Yes !! but jaanu, tumhe ye sab kaise pata....?

Girl : Bunty Haramkhor; kutte, mai teri Maa hun !!..
Tune 'Pummi' ko nahi,'Mummi' ko phone lagaya hai!!! :P

A man got a call from unknown number..

A man got a call from unknown number..

Girl:"Hi, r u single.. ??

Man:"Yes, but who r u.. ??

Ans:"Your wife.. Aaj ghar aana tab bataoogi..

Another call from unknown number..

Girl:"R u married.. ??

Man:"Yes, but who R u.. ??

Girl:"Your girlfriend, U cheat..

Man:"Sorry baby, I thought it was my wife..

Ans:"Wife hi hoon kutte, aaj tu bas ghar aaja.

zyada lecture dene se bezti bhi ho jati hai ...

Story: once a boy was smoking atairport.

Girl asked:1 din me kitne cigrete peete ho.?

Boy:why.?

Girl: Agar ab tak zindagi mein cirgrete pe kharch kiye huye paise bachate to samne khari hui car tmhari hoti...

Boy: Ap cigrate peeti hai..?

Girl: No.

Boy: To kya wo car apki hai..?

Girl: No.

Boy: Thanks for advice,Wo car meri he hai...

MORAL: zyada lecture dene se bezti bhi ho jati hai ..

Ek Haseen Ladki Raja ke Darbar mein

Ek Haseen Ladki Raja ke Darbar mein dance kar rahi thi..
.
(Raja bahut Bad-Surat tha)
.
Ladki ne Raja se Ek Sawal ki Ijajat maangi...
.
Raja ne Kaha,'Puccho.'
.
Ladki ne kaha,'Jab Khuda Husn Taqsim kar raha tha,
Tab Aap kahan the..??
.
Raja ne ghussa na kiya, balki Muskurate huey Kaha,'

Jab TUM Husn ki line me khadi husn le rahi thi,
.
Toh main Kismat ki Line me khada Kismat le raha tha....
.
Aur Aaj Tujh Jaisi Husn Waliya'n meri gulam ki tarah Nach Rahi hai..
.
Isi Liye Shayar Khoob Kehta hai,
.
"Husn na maang Naseeb maang Ae Dost, Husn Waale to Aksar Naseeb Walo ke Gulam hua Karte hai

Apki Beti k Nakhre Khtm Ho Tab Na

Principle: Late Q Hue

santa: Bike Khrab Ho Gai Thi

Principle: Bus Me Nahi Aa Skty The

Santa: Maine Kaha Th SIR Par Apki Beti k Nakhre Khtm Ho Tab Na

Santa ki shaadi ek nurse se ho gayi...

Santa ki shaadi ek nurse se ho gayi.

Banta: Aur santa, kaisi nibh rahi hai?

Santa: Pooch mat yaar, jab tak sister na kaho, bolti hi nahi 

Ek baar Santa Gangubai k ghar jata hai

Ek baar Santa Gangubai k ghar jata hai aur darwaza knock karta hai.

Gangubai: Kaun ?

Santa: Mai !

Gangubai: Main kaun?

Santa: are pagali Tu Gangubai 

Hindi Teacher and student

Hindi Teacher:" Prasang Sahit nimnlikhit Pankti ka varnan Kijiye:

"Munni badnaam hui, Darling tere liye.."
.
.
Student:" Ye Pankti bollywood ke prasidh Kavi Shri Salman Khan ke chal chitra ''Dabang'' ke "Munni Badnaam" namak kavita se li gyi hai..

Is kavita mein Kavi mayavi Sundri Malaika arora ko sambodhit karte huye pyar mein badnaam hone ki prerna dete hai..
.
Kavi ne is kavita ke madhyam se munni ki tulna jhandu baam aur atom bomb se ki hai..

is kavita se hume kavi ki gehri soch aur tulnatmak smriti ka ehsaas hota hai..:) :D

2 rupaye lene they.....

Girlfriend :”Last night I had a dream of you.”
.
.
Boyfriend (got excited):”Maine kya kiya tumhare sapne mein aa ke”
.
.
Girlfriend replied :”We were traveling in bus, Suddenly the bus lost control and fell in the river.
.
.
Everyone swam to save their life, but you were still swimming and searching for someone.”
.
.
Boyfriend (with luv):”I was searching for you, na?
.
.
Girlfriend said: NO, You were shouting,
.
.
“Arrey, conductor kidhar gaya, 2 rupaye lene the”

Ek tha Bhagwan..... Ek tha Shaitan.....

Ek tha Bhagwan..... Ek tha Shaitan.....

Dono me jab jhagda hua to bahut hua Nuksaan.

Dono ne milkar samasya ka nikala ek samadhan.

Ek khilona banaya aur uska naam rakha INSAAN.

Shaitan ne apni taaqatein di..... Krodh, Ghamand aur Jalan.

Bhagwan ne apne ansh diye..... Pyaar, Daya aur Sammaan,

Bhagwan se muskurakar bola fir shaitan.

Na tera Nuksaan..... Na mera Nuksaan.

Tu Jeetey ya Mein Jeetu,

HAAREGA INSAAN..

Ek Baar Ki Baat Hai...

Ek Baar Ki Baat Hai, Pappu Apni Girlfriend Ko
Ek Restaurant Main Lekar Gaya..
Uske Paas Paise Nahi The,
Wo ApniJeb Main Ek Coackroach Le kar Gaya,
Aur Saara Khana Khane Ke Baad,
Usne Soup Mangaya Aur Usme Cockroach Daal Diya,
Aur Jor jor Se Chillane Laga,”Ye Kya Laga Rakha Hai,
Customer Ko Zeher Khilate Ho
”Manager Ne Request Ki, Please Shor Mat Machaiye Aur Saara Bil Maaf Ho Gaya..

Agle Din Usne Ye Story Apne Ek Friend Ko Sunayi,
Aur Uska Friend Bhi Uski Girlfriend Ko Lekar Usi Restaurant Main Gaya,
Aur Jab Usne poora Khana khane Ke Baad Soup Order Kiya,

To Reply Mila Ki Soup Khatam Ho Gaya hai...:p :O :D :D

PAPPU KE KARNAME!!!!!!!!!

Papu:"Mujhe Dog Food lena hai..
.
.
SALES GIRL:"Kya apke pas Kutta hai.. ??
Papu:"Ha ghar pe hai..
.
SALES GIRL:"Sorry! Store policy hai ke zarurat dekh kar item sale karo..
.
NEXT DAY papu:"Mujhe Cat Food lena hai
.
SALES GIRL:"Sorry Sir pehle Billi la ke dekhao..
.
3 din bad Papu bag le ke store aya aur bola:"Bag me hath dal ke sabot dekh lo..
.
SALES GIRL hath dal ke boli:"Koi Garm, Geeli aur Mulayum cheez hai Kya hai..??
.
Papu:"Ye meri Potty hai, aur mujhe aaj
"TOILET PAPER" lena hai...:p:O :D

Shakal dekh ke hassi aa jati hai..

Girl: What's the proof that you miss me ??
.
.
Boy:"See my cheeks, My mom slapped me.. .
.
Because i was smiling while sleeping"Thinking of You"
Girl:"Awwwwww Itna Pyaar karte ho
.
.
Boy:"Nahin, Shakal dekh ke hassi aa jati hai...awww

Power of Wife !!!

Shohar Biwi Se: Ye kya !!! Tum Ek Aur Saree Le Aayi ??? Abhi Parso Hi Toh ...

Biwi Chilla kar boli: Kya Parso ???

Bolo ...

Bolo ...

Kya Kaha Tumne ???

Ruk Kyun Gaye ???

Kya Parso ???

Parso Kya ??? Bolo Jaldi !!! Jaldi Bolo Naa ...

Bataao Kya Parso ???

Shohar: Kuchh Nahi Jaanu, Mai toh bas yeh keh raha tha ki Parso bhi EK HI Saree laayi thi Pagli, Aaj toh 2 Le Aati !

Dost Kabhi Nahi Badalte...

Result Agar Achchha ho .
Maa: "Bhagwan Ki Kripa Hai. .
Papa: "Beta Kiska Hai. .
Dost: "Chal Daaru Peete Hai.

Result Agar Bura Ho. .
Maa: "Aag Lage Is Mobile Me. .
Papa: "Laad Pyar Ne Bigaad Diya. .
Dost: "Chal Daaru Peete Hai. .

Birthday Par.. .
Maa: "Jug Jug Jiye Mera Beta. .
Papa: "Hamesha Aage Badhe. .
Dost: "Chal Daaru Peete Hai. .

LOVE Me Fail Hone Par. .
Maa: "Beta Bhool ja Usko. .
Papa: "Mard Ban Mard. .
Dost: "Chal Daaru Peete Hai.. . . . .
.
.
Moral: "Dost Kabhi Nahi Badalte

Andha Hai Kya Be...

After Accident:
American:"Its Fine Man.. . . .
British:"I am So Sorry . . .
Australia:"No Worries Dude . . . .
Germany:"Are You Okay... ??
.

.

.

.

.

.
India:"Andha Hai Kya Be...
Akkal Ke Dushman Saale Tere Baap Ki Road Hai Kya Bahar Nikal Dekh Teri Kaise Bajaata Hu...
Paiiiiseeee nikaaal.. 

I am the BOSS..

Boy : Marry me.. ?
Girl: Do you have a house.. ?
Boy : No..
Girl: Do you have a BMW car.. ?
Boy : No..
Girl: How much is your salary.. ?
Boy : No salary.. but,..
Girl: No but. You have nothing.. How can i marry you.?? Leave please.!!
Boy: (talk to himself) I have one villa, 3 property lands, 3 Ferrari, 2 Porsche..
Why I still need to buy BMW.?!
How can I get the salary when actually I am the BOSS..

Guru Hamesa Guru hi hota hai...

5 Doctor, 5 Engineer Aur 1 Teacher Helicopter Ki Rassi se latke the.. .
.
Pilot ne kaha, wajan jyada hai koi 1 Aadmi Rassi chor de, . .
Teacher bola ye Kurbani main dunga..
TALIYAN Bajaiye, . .
Aur sare Doctor Taali bajane lage Aur Wajan kam ho gaya.. .
.
.
Moral of the story: "Chahe Doctor ban jao ya Engineer, Par Guru Hamesa Guru hi hota hai...

Pappu ne exam k liye...

Pappu ne exam k liye Question Paper banaya..
.
.
Paper dekhte hi saare bache behosh ho gye
.
.
Questions kuchh is tarah k the:
.
.
1.China kis Desh me hai ??
.
2. 15 Aug kis Date ko Aati hai.. ??
.
3.Green Rang kis Color ka Hota hai.. ??
.
4.Tamatar ko Hindi me kya Bolte hai.. ??
.
5.Mumtaz ki Qabar me Kon hai... ??

Student Ki Notebook Ke Last Page...

Student Ki Notebook Ke Last Page pe Kya Milega ??
.
.
1. ) Love % Check Krne Wala Game

2. ) Pen Ko Chalane Ke Liye Nikali Gayi Ink

3. ) Silent Class Mein Baat Karne Ke Liye Likhi Gayi Batein

4. ) Exams K Liye Importants

5. ) Test Ki Dates

6. ) Cross Vs Zero Game

7. ) Dost Ne Likha Hua Crush Ka Name Aur Us Pe Pen Se Itna Ghisa Hua Ki Koi Padh Na Le..

8. ) Apna Sign With Different Types..

4 Students Ne Paper Ki Tayari...

4 Students Ne Paper Ki Tayari Nahi Ki, .
Unho Ne 1 Plan Banaya Aur Wo Agle Din Principal Ko Bole, .
Sir Hum Shadi Mein Gaye The, .
Raste Me Gaadi Ka Tyre Punchure Ho Gaya,
Hum Saari Raat Dhaka Lagate Rahe, . .
Is Liye Padh Nahi Sake,
Principal Ne Maan Liya Aur Unhe 1 Din Ka Time Diya,
1 Din Baad Unhe 4 Alag Rooms Mein Bithaya,
Aur Sirf 1 Sawal Diya, .
Question : "Konsa Tyre Punchure Hua Tha..?? .
1 : "Front Right"
2 : "Front Left"
3 : "Back Right"
4 : "Back Left" .
Note:" Agar Sabka Answer Same Hua to Sab Pass.. :P ;) :*

Solid beezatti on Facebook Chat Conversation

Solid beezatti on Facebook Chat Conversation :

Boy: Hey!

Girl: What?

Boy: Hi

Girl: Bye!

Boy: Why?

Girl: Didn't heard What I Said? Get Lost!

Boy: Okay As you Wish!

But I Wanna Say Something to You!

Girl: What? Say Fast, I don't have Time!

Boy: *Laughing* If I Ever Wanted to Commit a Suicide,
I'll Definitely Jump from your Ego Level to your IQ Level!
Now Get Lost Saali Chudail....

Solid beezatti on Facebook Chat Conversation

Solid beezatti on Facebook Chat Conversation :

Boy: Hey!

Girl: What?

Boy: Hi

Girl: Bye!

Boy: Why?

Girl: Didn't heard What I Said? Get Lost!

Boy: Okay As you Wish!

But I Wanna Say Something to You!

Girl: What? Say Fast, I don't have Time!

Boy: *Laughing* If I Ever Wanted to Commit a Suicide,
I'll Definitely Jump from your Ego Level to your IQ Level!
Now Get Lost Saali Chudail....

Solid beezatti on Facebook Chat Conversation

Solid beezatti on Facebook Chat Conversation :

Boy: Hey!

Girl: What?

Boy: Hi

Girl: Bye!

Boy: Why?

Girl: Didn't heard What I Said? Get Lost!

Boy: Okay As you Wish!

But I Wanna Say Something to You!

Girl: What? Say Fast, I don't have Time!

Boy: *Laughing* If I Ever Wanted to Commit a Suicide,
I'll Definitely Jump from your Ego Level to your IQ Level!
Now Get Lost Saali Chudail....

Husband & Wife

Wife: I love you baby...!
Husband: (softly) I love you too..!!
Wife: Aise kyun bola...! ??
Husband: Bas thoda mood off tha...!!
Wife: Doston ke saath toh bade khush rehte ho, aur mere saath hidrame karte ho...!
Husband: (pyar se) Aisa kuch nahi jaanu, tabiyat thodi theek nahi hai...!!
Wife: Haan abhi dost phone karega toh 2 sec mein tabiyat theek ho jayegi..!
Husband: Dost kahan se aa gaye, mera mood thoda upset hai bas...!!
Wife: Mere saath hi yeh sab hota hai, friends ke saath enjoy karte ho, badi has has ke pictures click karwate ho. Ya koi aur ladki pasand aa gayi hai...! ??
Husband: (aur jyada pyar se) arrey, kahan se kahan baat le jaa rahi ho...!! ?
Wife: Aaj sab clear hoga...!
Husband: Kya clear karna hai jaanu, aisa kya ho gaya...!!??
Wife: (khud confused) Jab tum khud clear nahi, tumhe kuch pata nahi toh mein kya bolun...!
Husband: (trying to act smart) Tumhe hua kya hai!! kis baat pe upset ho?? Batao...!!
Wife: Tumhari sangat hi kharab hai...!
Husband: Mere saath toh tum ho...!!
Wife: Ab bohot ho gaya, ab aur nahi...!
Husband: (fully crashed) Hua kya hai, yeh toh bata do...!!
Wife: Hum ab saath nahi reh sakte...!
Husband: Ye baat kahan se aayi...!!
Wife: i want Divorce...!
Husband: Hmmmm ok...!!
Wife: (gone crazy) Haan, yehi chahte ho tum toh, fir tum jo marzi kar sako...!
Husband: Arrey tumne khudne bola abhi, maine kya galat kaha...!!
Wife: Itni problem thi toh bola kyun nahi, mein khud bina bole chali jaati tumhari life se...!
Husband: (apne baal pakad kar) Mujhe meri galti toh bata do...!!
Wife: Waqt aane pe pata chalegi tumhe apne aap, jab mein chali jaungi...!
Husband: Acha, toh mein wait karta hoon sahi waqt ka...!!
Wife: Tum serious kab hoge...! ??
Husband: Ab kya hospital mein admit ho jaun serious hone ke liye...!!?
Wife: Go to hell...!
Husband: Don't call me again...!!
AFTER 3 HOURS..
Wife: Tumhe pata hai na mein tumhare bina nahi reh sakti jaanu,sorry i love you my baby...!
Husband: (Sab bhool kar) Acha, i love you tooo...!!
Wife: upset kyun lag rahe ho ?............... !!!!

Sonia gandhi joke - Awesome one

Sonia gandhi 1 school visit karne gayi 1 class me akar boli baccho ko sawal puchna hai to pucho
.
Pappu bola mere 3 sawal hai..
Q.1 aap khud prime minister q
nahi bani ??
Q.2 ramleela maidan me police
kisne bheji ??
Q.3 aapka kitna paisa Swiss bank me hai ??
.
Isse pehle ki Sonia jawab deti half tym ki bell ho gyi..
.
.
After half tym
Santa khadha hokar bola Mam
mere 5 sawal hai..
.
3 to Pappu wale hai
.
Q.4:" Half tym ki bell 20 min pehle kaise baji ??
.
Or akhiri sawal..
.
.
.
Q.5:" Pappu kaha hai.. ??

Funny Jokes

Wife: Har Haftay Tum Fishing Ke Liye Jatay Ho Naa.?
.
Husband : Hmm..Haan..To.?
.
Wife: Aaj Woh Machhli Aayi Thi...aur
.
Puch Rahi Thi Kahan Hai Woh Haramzada? Main Uske Bachhe Ki Maa Banne Wali Hun....

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What is PYAR ?
.
. . .
.
.Its a group of frnds siting in a
BAR with
bottles in hand and saying--
"P" "YAR"

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Bacha- agar papa aapko pta chale ki mai 1st division se pass hua hu to aapko kaise lgega . . . . .

papa- mai to khusi se pagal ho jaunga . . . . .

bacha- bass isi dar se mai fail ho gya

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santa aur banta k bich mai fight ho rahi thi
banta:- saale mai tere kapde phaad k tujhe naanga kar doonga
santa:- dekh serious ladai mai romantic baat mat kar