Funny jokes

Ek aadmi ko raaste mai patthar mila Us par likha tha...
isse palat do, kuch ban jaoge....
 .
 .
 .
 Jaise hi usne palta dusri taraf likha  tha..
 .
 .
 .
 '"Mubarak ho tum chutiya Ban Gaye'".

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Arz kiya he........
Gaur Farmaiyega...
Jab dekha unhone tirchi nazar se,
Kasam khuda ki madhosh ho gaye hum,
Par jab pata chala nazar parmanant tirchi hai,
To wahi khade-khade behosh ho gaye hum.

Ek aur......
Ankho main nami thi,
Aur vitamin ki kami thi..
Wah Wah,
Jis se raat bhar chatting ki
woh girl friend ki mummy thi..

Ek aur....
Koi pathar se na maare mere dewaane ko.
Nuclear power ka jamaana hai,
bomb se udaa do saale ko.

Bus last.....
Tajmahal kya cheez hai,
isse badi imarat banaunga,
Mumtaz to marke dafan hui thi,
tujhe to mein zinda dafnaunga....
ha ha ha ha....

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Engineer Doctor ke paas gaya aur bola ghar
jaane ki kya fees hai.. ??
.
Doctor:" 300 rupees..
.
Engineer:" Chale Dr Sahab.. ??
.
Dr ne bike nikali engineer aur Dr Ghar pahuch gaye
.
Dr bola mareez kaha hai.. ??
.
Engineer:" Mareez koi nahi hai pagal,
.
taxi wala 500 maang raha tha aurtu 300 me le aaya... Hahahaha

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After Result - Girls Reaction

Ladki 1 (Rote Huve) - phir se sirf 91%
Ladki 2 (Bahot Rote huve) - 5 baar revise karne k Baad Bhi sirf 93% kaisa Aa sakte hai Number ??
Ladki 3 (Bahot Jada Rote huve) - Mai mummy ko kya Mu Dikhaungi In 92% Number ke saath ,,,
Ladki 4 (Bahot Bahot Jada Rote huve) - sirf 94%?? kahan kami rahgayi ,,..?

After Result - Boys Reaction when they talk to each other

boy 1 - Tere bhai ne fod diya hai be is baar..poore 44% hain.. ha ha ha
boy 2 - Papa to Naach Uthenge Jab Unhe Pata Chalega ki mai pass ho gaya by grace .. hahahahaha
boy 3 - Wo to sir ne Copy karne di jo 41 % aa gaye... warna To band bajj gaya tha..hahahahaha
boy 4 - Main to baal baal bacha.. Border pe pass ho gaya pure 35% aaye hai na 1 mark jada na 1 mark kam, Muje to yakin hi nhi ho raha ki me pass ho gaya,, paper check karne wala devta tha Devta.. hahaha ha

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A man is sitting next to a woman who's trying to breast-feed her baby in a bus.

The baby refuses to suck the breast & the mother warns, "If you don't suck, I shall give it to the uncle next to me".

The baby still refuses.

After about 20 mins, the woman repeats the 'threat'.

The man clears his throat & says: "Look, madam, you better make up your mind. I was suppose to get off six bus-stops ago"

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